The Sanderson Gazette - 2021-11-17 - Rock Bottom

Through seven weeks, the average game score for 2021 was 105.14 - only behind 2018's 106.94. But then, in weeks 8-10, we averaged 90.26 points, which is the fifth worst three game stretch we've ever had.

Week 10 - hopefully - will be our rock bottom; its 88.11 point average is the twelfth worst in Blingaleague history (bumping week 9 into the thirteenth spot).

So, what went wrong?

Week 10 Recap

Dave def. Babel, 112.23-83.32

Let's start with our Game of the Blingaweek. Dave had - spoiler alert - the highest score of the week, so we won't dwell on his worst player (T.J. Hockenson (zero)). But for Babel, enough went wrong for him to put up his lowest score of the season by more than twenty points. Darren Waller (3.20) and the Rams defense (zero) were his lowest scorers, but Matthew Stafford (11.25) and Adam Thielen (8.67) also disappointed. Babel was #1 through nine weeks on the Highest Minimum Score leaderboard; it's now guaranteed he won't make the year-end version.

Matt def. Richie, 100.77-98.77

This game had the least go wrong, given it had the highest scoring loser of the week. Richie's biggest failing was a player on neither of these guys' rosters: Russell Wilson. Wilson's rough outing meant DK Metcalf put up only 3.47 for Rich and allowed the Green Bay defense to score 20.00 for Matt.

Schertz def. Rob, 111.54-57.44

Schertz was one of only two teams to beat his Yahoo projection thanks to Darrel Williams (23.77) and Stefon Diggs (27.60), so let's focus on Rob. His high score came from Tony Pollard (11.67), and his kicker (Chase McLaughlin (1.00)) and defense (Chargers (3.00)) combined for four points. Or, to put it another way, his entire roster combined for less than 60.

Rabbit def. Ed, 82.07-75.84

Rabbit stayed in the thick of playoff race despite Dalton Schultz (1.87), Tyler Lockett (3.07), and Marquise Brown (4.93) having bad games. Ed got similar performances from A.J. Green (0.53) and Brandon Aiyuk (3.47), so it was one player that went right for Rabs who swung this one: Dak Prescott (29.30).

Mike R. def. Pulley, 102.45-64.27

Apparently, only Blingaleaguers named Mike were allowed to outperform Yahoo projections this week. Mr. Romor got 17.63 from D'Ernest Johnson (we'll talk about him more in the Weekly Awards section), 15.30 from James Robinson, and 12.53 from Jakobi Meyers. Going back to our theme, Pulley saw Allen Lazard (0.80), Odell Beckham, Jr. (2.40), and Courtland Sutton (3.87) put up big duds.

Scott def. Kevin, 79.95-64.71

Scott won his second game in a row despite some horrific performances from K.J. Osborn (zero), Le'Veon Bell (0.10), the Saints defense (1.00), and Ryan Griffin (2.80). It was Deebo Samuel's 28.53 on Monday night that pushed Scott to victory. Meanwhile, Kevin had seven players score less than five points: Marvin Jones, Jr. (4.67), Cordarelle Patterson (4.37), D.J. Moore (3.20), Younghoe Koo (3.00), Cole Beasley (2.00), and the Arizona defense (zero).

Derrek def. Pat, 106.84-93.35

These two didn't have that much go wrong. Patrick Mahomes II scored a whopping 40.30 for Derrek, making it easier to stomach T.Y. Hilton's 0.67. Pat had his own horrible WR, Russell Gage (zero). CeeDee Lamb (25.73) and the Dallas defense (23.00) had good games in the losing effort, though.

Trades

Trade between Dave and Ed

Dave received:

A.J. Brown - from Ed - ineligible to be kept
Aaron Jones - from Ed - keeper cost: 1st
T.J. Hockenson - from Ed - keeper cost: 4th
Tyler Higbee - from Ed - keeper cost: 7th

Ed received:

Terry McLaurin - from Dave - keeper cost: 2nd
Kyle Pitts - from Dave - keeper cost: 3rd
Damien Harris - from Dave - keeper cost: 5th
Justin Fields - from Dave - keeper cost: 8th

Dave continued to load up for the playoffs, while Ed got rid of some players with minimal - or, in Brown's case, no - future value to acquire some potential keepers.

The fact that Ed's side outscored Dave's side this past week didn't matter, since the former lost and the latter won. But Aaron Jones's injury means that Dave can't be as high on this trade as he was a week ago.

Trade between Dave and Derrek

Dave received:

Mark Ingram II - from Derrek - keeper cost: 9th

Derrek received:

Devontae Booker - from Dave - keeper cost: 9th

A simple swap of handcuff running backs. Dave was the clear winner so far, as Ingram scored 18.83 filling in for Alvin Kamara in week 10.

Standings

Babel, 8-2, 1,156.52
Derrek, 8-2, 1,076.84
Dave, 8-2, 1,062.40
Matt, 8-2, 1,033.84
Richie, 7-3, 1,120.85
Schertz, 7-3, 1,111.69
Rabbit, 7-3, 1,087.50
Kevin, 5-5, 1,021.57
Ed, 3-7, 1,003.73
Mike R., 2-8, 978.05 (e)
Pulley, 2-8, 901.11 (e)
Rob, 2-8, 856.74 (e)
Scott, 2-8, 738.75 (e)
Pat, 1-9, 945.34 (e)

Blingalytics Ratings

Babel, 704
Derrek, 643
Richie, 639
Schertz, 625
Dave, 588
Rabbit, 559
Kevin, 514
Ed, 513
Matt, 492
Mike R., 478
Pat, 420
Pulley, 365
Rob, 311
Scott, 148

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Dave earned his second Blangums of the year with his 112.23... which is also the fourth lowest Blangums score of all time.

Slapped Heartbeat

Rob's 57.44 is his lowest score since the 2016 quarterfinals.

His average of 59.32 over the past two weeks is his worst two-week stretch ever by far. (His previous nadir was 69.09 in weeks 12-13 of 2015.)

Weekly MVP

Patrick Mahomes II (40.30 for Derrek) is back!

Dud of the Week

There were so many candidates this week, it's impossible for me to choose. Just re-read the game recaps from above and pick your personal favorite.

Start of the Week

No single decision swung a game, so we'll give credit to Mike R. for playing Jakobi Meyers (12.53) on the day he finally scored a touchdown.

Misplay of the Week

Once again, no single reasonable decision swung a game (Richie could have tabbed Tua Tagovailoa (13.40) as his starter, but the QB's real life team didn't even do that in week 10), so this will go unawarded.

Pickup of the Week

Matt picked up the Packers defense and got 20 points in a two point win.

Blessed Cahoots

Scott scored less than 80 points, but won - thanks to his opponent (Kevin) doing even worse.

D'Ernest D'oh

Introducing a new award, to be given to notably baffling transactions!

Nick Chubb tested positive for COVID-19 early in the week, making it unlikely he'd play on Sunday. Richie had picked up D'Ernest Johnson the last time Chubb was out and got rewarded with a huge game. Richie also has some serious QB woes and picked up Jared Goff, but instead of dropping one of the three QBs or three TEs already on his roster, elected to drop Johnson.

As circumstances had it, the person most in need of a Nick Chubb replacement - Babel - had the #1 waiver priority. Surely, this was the time to cash in that resource, right?

When the dust settled, it was Mike R. who benefitted from Johnson's 17.63 points this week. Richie and Babel will share the inaugural D'Ernest D'oh award.

Playoff Scenarios

Once again, no one can clinch a playoff berth, as only one game separates first place from seventh. But a whopping five teams - Pat, Scott, Rob, Pulley, and Mike R. - have been formally eliminated from contention. Prior to this year, only seven teams had ever been eliminated before week 11.

Week 11 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

D's Nuts (Derrek, 8-2, 2nd) vs. DK Country (Richie, 7-3, 5th)

Derrek leads all-time series, 6-3.

Our run of fantastic Games of the Blingaweek continues - which I guess is inevitable when you have such a top-heavy league.

Derrek hasn't gotten caught up in the arms race like some others have, and maybe he doesn't need to. Patrick Mahomes II (vs. DAL) once again looks like an MVP, and Jonathan Taylor (@BUF) has been ridiculously good the past few weeks. Saquon Barkley (@TAM) should be back this week, too. Sure, the bottom of his roster - featuring Will Fuller V (@NYJ) at the moment - isn't as inspiring as that of the teams surrounding him in the standings, but his top talent is tough to beat.

Speaking of other top teams, Richie wishes he had a QB half as productive as Mahomes. This week, it looks like Tua Tagovailoa (@NYJ) will be starting for Rich. Luckily for him, he has no other weaknesses. James Conner (@SEA) has been a huge surprise, and Travis Kelce (vs. DAL) should help him mitigate Derrek's Mahomes points.

Pick: DK Country.

Other Blingamatches

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 8-2, 4th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 7-3, 6th)

Matt leads all-time series, 8-2.

Is Matt on another inevitable march to (lose in) the Blingabowl? He overcame Robert Woods's season-ending injury last week thanks to Dalvin Cook (vs. GB) and Mark Andrews (@CHI). If Mike Williams (vs. PIT) and Brandin Cooks (@TEN) return to early-season form, Matt could look just about as scary as any other team in the league.

Schertz has had one horrible game and one strong one without Derrick Henry, and the latter came despite Tom Brady (vs. NYG) having a relatively poor showing. This week, Brady and Mike Evans (vs. NYG) have a nice matchup; can Schertz manage to make the playoffs without his bellcow running back?

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Swift Justice (Babel, 8-2, 1st) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 7-3, 7th)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 9-6.

Matthew Stafford (bye) has had a rough couple of weeks, so being forced to play Russell Wilson (vs. ARI) instead could be a boon for Babel. Nick Chubb (vs. DET) is also probably back, and against an easy opponent; that could be what gets our first place team back on track.

Rabs is back on the Christian McCaffrey (vs. WAS) train, and the rest of us should be jealous. Dak Prescott (@KC) also looks like he is back to star form after an injury, which means Rabbit's top guys rival Derrek's. If a couple of Marquise Brown (@CHI), Tyler Lockett (vs. ARI), Tyler Boyd (@LV), and Emmanuel Sanders (vs. IND) show up, Rabs could pull the upset here.

Pick: Swift Justice.

The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 5-5, 8th) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat, 1-9, 14th)

Pat leads all-time series, 9-3.

Kevin isn't officially out of contention, but he's teetering on the edge. It doesn't help that surprising standout Cordarelle Patterson (vs. NE) is questionable to play Sunday.

Pat may be in last place, but he's got better metrics than the three teams immediately ahead of him. And who would have guessed he had such a decisive edge historically against Kevin?

Pick: The Vistas are Back.