The Sanderson Gazette - 2021-11-24 - Unclinched

Week 11 Recap

Derrek def. Richie, 149.50-137.82

The Game of the Blingaweek will go down as one of the most epic matches in Blingaleague history. Derrek got a whopping 51.03 from Jonathan Taylor and an excellent 34.83 from Justin Jefferson, but had to sweat out the victory due to Patrick Mahomes II putting up just 8.60 and Richie having one hell of a game himself. Austin Ekeler scored 37.67 on Sunday night for the losing side, and James Conner (17.13), Travis Kelce (16.27), and Chris Godwin (15.37) all just didn't score quite enough.

Richie had the second highest score of the week and lost. This has happened just eleven times before.

Babel def. Rabbit, 123.92-110.60

Rabbit went up early with 31.00 from the New England defense on Thursday night, but Dak Prescott's 2.30 then left this one wide open for Babel. And our first place team seized the opportunity behind Nick Chubb (20.87), D'Andre Swift (19.60), and Adam Thielen (16.93).

Dave def. Rob, 77.65-72.33

Rob gave Dave a scare, but ultimately, the favorite prevailed. Kirk Cousins (27.65) led all scorers and was the reason Dave squeezed out the win. These two combined for barely more points than Derrek had on his own, and both would have benefitted from not playing kickers. Tyler Bass (Dave) and Chase McLaughlin (Rob) each scored -1.00.

Matt def. Schertz, 92.08-72.46

Schertz's Tom Brady (22.35) was the overall high scorer in this matchup, but Matt emerged victorious behind Dalvin Cook (20.47) and Tyrod Taylor (20.15). Both of these two would have benefitted from not playing defenses; Green Bay (-2.00 for Matt) and Pittsburgh (-1.00 for Schertz) both scored less than zero.

Pat def. Kevin, 109.07-95.05

Kevin's playoff hopes took a huge hit despite a big game from Davante Adams (27.33). Pat had two big games of his own, though: Justin Herbert scored 37.10 and Elijah Moore put up 26.30.

Ed def. Mike R., 117.58-68.21

Relatively recent acquisitions Terry McLaurin (19.73) and Brandon Aiyuk (17.33) blew up for Ed in this meaningless contest. Mike's high scorer was Ja'Marr Chase (11.07).

Pulley def. Scott, 102.02-57.62

Pulley broke triple digits thanks to Aaron Rodgers (36.35) and Joe Mixon (24.30). Only Deebo Samuel (15.90) and Chris Boswell (14.00) outperformed projections for Scott.

Standings

  1. Babel, 9-2, 1,280.44
  2. Derrek, 9-2, 1,226.34
  3. Dave, 9-2, 1,140.05
  4. Matt, 9-2, 1,125.92
  5. Richie, 7-4, 1,258.67
  6. Rabbit, 7-4, 1,198.10
  7. Schertz, 7-4, 1,184.15
  8. Kevin, 5-6, 1,116.62
  9. Ed, 4-7, 1,121.31
  10. Pulley, 3-8, 1,003.13 (e)
  11. Pat, 2-9, 1,054.41 (e)
  12. Mike R., 2-9, 1,046.26 (e)
  13. Rob, 2-9, 929.07 (e)
  14. Scott, 2-9, 796.37 (e)

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Babel, 719
  2. Derrek, 674
  3. Richie, 668
  4. Schertz, 580
  5. Rabbit, 573
  6. Dave, 551
  7. Ed, 540
  8. Kevin, 508
  9. Matt, 483
  10. Pat, 444
  11. Mike R., 443
  12. Pulley, 383
  13. Rob, 295
  14. Scott, 138

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Derrek's 149.50 was his second highest total ever.

Slapped Heartbeat

Scott scored 57.62, making it the third time he's failed to cracked 60 points since week 13 of last year.

Weekly MVP

Jonathan Taylor (51.03 for Derrek) is just the seventh player to score 50 or more points in Blingaleague history, joining the following exceptional performers.

Dud of the Week

Dak Prescott scored just 2.30 for Rabbit.

Start of the Week

This is a fun one. Dave will get this for playing a defense (Tennessee) that scored negative points (-1.00). That's because his other option was the Buffalo defense, which bottomed out at -7.00. Good thing he didn't trade any valuable players for them or anything silly like that!

Misplay of the Week

In the same game, Rob played the wrong QB that was at one time drafted by the Patriots. Mac Jones scored 10.95 in his lineup while Jimmy Garoppolo scored 16.40 on his bench.

Pickup of the Week

It didn't lead to victory, but Rabbit's addition of Evan McPherson got him 20.00 in his kicker slot.

Blessed Cahoots

Dave stayed right in the thick of the bye race despite scoring less than 80 because his opponent was Rob.

Pryor Play of the Week

Aaron Rodgers (36.35) blew up for Pulley after a string of lackluster games.

Playoff Scenarios

Babel clinches a playoff berth with:

  • a win AND (a Richie loss OR a Rabbit loss OR a Schertz loss).

Derrek clinches a playoff berth with:

  • a win AND (a Richie loss OR a Rabbit loss OR a Schertz loss).

Dave clinches a playoff berth with:

  • a win AND (a Richie loss OR a Rabbit loss OR a Schertz loss).

Matt clinches a playoff berth with:

  • a win AND (a Richie loss OR a Rabbit loss OR a Schertz loss).

(Scott, Rob, Mike R., Pat, and Pulley have been eliminated from playoff contention.)

Playoff Scenarios, Part II

There is still a very unlikely chance we end up with seven teams with nine or more wins, so none of our 9-2 squads are officially in yet. That said, they all basically just need one more win from here on out.

The three 7-4 teams are likely fighting for the #5 and #6 seeds, though some chaos could leave the bye spots open. Each win is critical, and there's a very good chance we'll have an eight win team miss the playoffs for the first time ever.

Finally, Kevin (5-6) and Ed (4-7) are still mathematically eligible for the playoffs. It would take some near-miraculous circumstances for either to get in, though.

Week 12 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Super Bash Bros. (Dave, 9-2, 3rd) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 9-2, 4th)

Matt leads all-time series, 9-5.

  • Matt still plays: Rabbit, Mike R.
  • Dave still plays: Derrek, Kevin.

Another week, another great headliner matchup. This is just the second time in Blingaleague history that teams with 18 wins combined have met in week 12; the previous instance was when 10-1 Mike R. defeated 8-3 Ed back in 2012.

Dave's team has changed so much that it's hard to say which player best represents him. Is it Kirk Cousins (@SF), the QB who has steadily put up points? Considering Dave's been pretty inconsistent, maybe recent trade acquisition A.J. Brown (@NE) is a more accurate choice. Dave's team of mercenaries will have to manage without Kyler Murray (bye), Tyreek Hill (bye), and Amari Cooper (COVID) this week. That doesn't bode well against the league's Monster Heel.

Matt's most representative player is Lamar Jackson (vs. CLE). He's capable of having huge weeks, but in terms of total points, he doesn't rank that highly. Dalvin Cook (@SF) is also surprisingly low in positional rankings, but Matt makes up for it with Mark Andrews (vs. CLE), who is well ahead of the third best tight end.

In terms of playoff outlook, having nine wins each means these two don't have much to sweat outside of getting a bye. And Matt's future schedule - while not a cakewalk - is definitely more favorable than Dave's.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Other Blingamatches

D's Nuts (Derrek, 9-2, 2nd) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 7-4, 7th)

Derrek leads all-time series, 6-4.

  • Derrek still plays: Dave, Rabbit.
  • Schertz still plays: Kevin, Pat.

It would be easy to say Jonathan Taylor (vs. TAM) best represents Derrek, but if that were true, D would be dominating the league like Taylor is dominating his position. Instead, I think Justin Jefferson (@SF) is a better fit; without that much fanfare, Jefferson ranks fifth at his position and gives Derrek a reliable top WR every week.

Derrek's Taylor is only dominating the RB position because Schertz's Derrick Henry has been out for the past three weeks. So Stefon Diggs (@NO), Schertz's other keeper, will get the nod here. Diggs has been a top ten WR, but hasn't reached previous heights, which has led both his NFL and Blingaleague franchises to have serious concerns about missing the playoffs despite strong starts.

Derrek, like Matt and Dave, has his ninth win already banked, so the playoffs are in his future. But he has a brutal remaining schedule. Every loss hurts Schertz right now, but luckily, his remaining schedule is quite manageable even if he does lose to D.

Pick: D's Nuts.

DK Country (Richie, 7-4, 5th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 5-6, 8th)

Kevin leads all-time series, 7-2.

  • Richie still plays: Pat, Scott.
  • Kevin still plays: Schertz, Dave.

James Conner (bye) is pretty clearly the player to mention for Richie. An, uh, unorthodox pick, Conner has been a huge asset and a big part of Richie's success so far. His bye - along with Travis Kelce's - is concerning, but Austin Ekeler (@DEN) and Chris Godwin (@IND) should be able to shoulder the load.

Kevin's pick of D.J. Moore (@MIA) looked like a great choice for the first four weeks, but like Kevin's team, he's tailed off recently. Josh Allen (@NO) and Davante Adams (vs. LAR) have in no way been busts, but they also haven't been the consistent studs that Kevin got used to during his 2020 Sanderson Cup run.

Richie's schedule is the easiest in the entire league from here on out, so failing to get two wins means he'll have totally collapsed. Meanwhile, Kevin needs to win out and get a ton of help - and he has the most difficult remaining schedule. It looks like the defending champ will miss the playoffs for the second straight season.

Pick: DK Country.

Swift Justice (Babel, 9-2, 1st) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 2-9, 12th)

Mike R. leads all-time series, 9-7.

  • Babel still plays: Pulley, Ed.
  • Mike R. still plays: Rob, Matt.

Babel's namesake is incredibly appropriate. D'Andre Swift (vs. CHI) wasn't a preseason darling, but he's gone out and put up double digits in all but three weeks. Not to be outdone, keeper Keenan Allen (@DEN) has only failed to hit the ten point mark in two weeks. Babel's in first place because he consistently scores above the league average; only one time has he failed to hit the median 2021 score of 102.05.

Like Vance McDonald and C.J. Fiedorowicz before him, Pat Freiermuth (@CIN) is an archetypal Bully. Mike might not run a franchise we all try to emulate, but he sure can find those productive blocking tight ends on the waiver wire.

Babel is the only 9-2 team to face an easier-than-average schedule from here on out. There are no excuses for him to not carry on with his run atop the standings. Meanwhile, Mike will hope to salvage some of his season with a big upset against his rival in week 14.

Pick: Swift Justice.

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 7-4, 6th) vs. Rob for Today (Rob, 2-9, 13th)

Rob leads all-time series, 9-6.

  • Rabbit still plays: Matt, Derrek.
  • Rob still plays: Mike R., Pulley.

Marquise Brown (vs. CLE) is a pretty good representative for Rabbit. He hasn't been amazing, but he's been getting the job done all year. And, like Rabs, he goes by a nickname! Christian McCaffrey (@MIA) has been his usual stellar self since his return from IR, which means Rabs is ready to do some damage in the playoffs.

Rob's team is like Antonio Gibson (vs. SEA). Sometimes good, but a lot of the time, unplayable. This is a year Rob would like to forget.

As I said above, Rabs is ready to do damage in the playoffs - if he gets there. Beating Rob to get to eight wins is probably not enough on its own, and then he faces off against two of our top teams. Meanwhile, Rob's schedule sets him up nicely to finish 4-10.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Live Commish (Ed, 4-7, 9th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 3-8, 10th)

Pulley leads all-time series, 7-6.

  • Ed still plays: Scott, Babel.
  • Pulley still plays: Babel, Rob.

Ed made a splashy move to acquire DeAndre Hopkins (bye) early in the year, and the star WR aligns with Ed's overall squad. Good enough to compete, but then just sort of absent from the midseason point on.

Pulley has a similar situation. Odell Beckham, Jr. (@GB) has also failed to meet expectations, but just started earlier in the year.

Neither one of these guys will make the playoffs, and both still face Babel.

Pick: Live Commish.

The Vistas are Back (Pat, 2-9, 11th) vs. Two Digit FC (Scott, 2-9, 14th)

Scott leads all-time series, 2-1.

  • Pat still plays: Richie, Schertz.
  • Scott still plays: Ed, Richie.

Myles Gaskin (vs. CAR) has been far more inconsistent than Pat, but just as mediocre.

Tee Higgins (vs. PIT) has a season high of 13.73. That seems about right for Scott, who has yet to break 90.

Neither of these guys will make the playoffs, and both still face Richie.

Pick: The Vistas are Back.

Closing Thoughts

A team with the second lowest score of the week lucking into a victory is more common than Richie's fate this week. Here is the list of our Blessed Heartbeat teams (notice that it happened three weeks in a row in 2009, including back-to-back weeks by Ed!).