Week 12 Recap

Derrek def. Schertz, 125.59-44.40

Derrek moved into first place on the back of an incredibly balanced lineup. His high scorer was the Miami defense (23.00), and he had six more players score between 12 and 20 points (Van Jefferson, Jr. (18.40); Rob Gronkowski (16.40); Jonathan Taylor (16.17); Taylor Heinicke (12.95); Diontae Johnson (12.67); and Justin Jefferson (12.27).

Meanwhile, Schertz had a horrendous week. He had as many players break double digits (Stefon Diggs (15.87) and Tom Brady (12.50)) as ones that scored less than zero (Randy Bullock (-1.00) and the Pittsburgh defense (-3.00)).

Mike R. def. Babel, 83.56-82.04

Injuries to D'Andre Swift (1.20) and Darren Waller (4.40) and disappointing games from Najee Harris (4.17) and Nick Chubb (4.67) resulted in Babel finding himself on the losing end of one of the biggest upsets in Blingaleague history. (Fun fact: the only other time a winner had seven fewer wins than the team it beat was another week 12 Mike R. victory, in 2016 over Kevin!)

Javonte Williams (19.00) led the way for the Bullies.

Rabbit def. Rob, 105.41-100.38

Rob nearly pulled an upset of his own, but Antonio Gibson (17.77) couldn't outscore Tyler Lockett (12.80) by enough on Monday night. Jaylen Waddle added 24.27 for Rob, but Rabs got 28.55 from Dak Prescott and 14.00 from the New England defense.

Ed def. Pulley, 104.45-101.28

Terry McLaurin (6.80) did just enough on Monday night to push Ed ahead of Pulley for good in this one. Leonard Fournette (38.13 for Ed) and Joe Mixon (28.23 for Pulley) were stars in this one, and while Pulley got a great game from Aaron Rodgers, (28.85) as well, he also had three players score under three (Courtland Sutton (2.27), George Kittle (1.73), and Marquise Goodwin (zero)).

Matt def. Dave, 112.51-74.27

None of Dave's wheeling and dealing paid off this week; only T.J. Hockenson (10.67) and the Buffalo defense (11.00) scored more than Yahoo projected. Matt had a huge kicker game from Nick Folk (20.00) and a strong week from Josh Jacobs (18.03) and moved into bye position.

Richie def. Kevin, 104.20-66.69

Richie got barely enough from DK Metcalf (1.73) on Monday night to become our new points leader and all but lock up a playoff berth. New acquisitions Josh Allen (28.30) and Cordarelle Patterson (26.40) were the biggest drivers of Richie's victory. Kevin's newest prize, Cooper Kupp (14.80), was one of his few bright spots.

Scott def. Pat, 100.50-93.29

Hey, Scott broke 100! That leaves 2017 Mike R. as the lone team to never hit triple digits. Tee Higgins (21.20), Deebo Samuel (21.20), and Darnell Mooney (16.60) all had big games to push Scott over that milestone. Pat got 23.97 from Eli Mitchell, but took a zero from Dallas Goedert.

Trades

Trade between Dave and Kevin and Richie

Dave received:

• Davante Adams - from Kevin - keeper cost: 1st
• Travis Kelce - from Richie - keeper cost: 1st
• Clyde Edwards-Helaire - from Kevin - keeper cost: 2nd

Kevin received:

• Cooper Kupp - from Dave - keeper cost: 3rd
• Rhamondre Stevenson - from Dave - keeper cost: 9th
• Tua Tagovailoa - from Richie - keeper cost: 9th

Richie received:

• Josh Allen - from Kevin - ineligible to be kept
• Logan Thomas - from Kevin - keeper cost: 5th
• Tyler Higbee - from Dave - keeper cost: 7th
• Cordarelle Patterson - from Kevin - keeper cost: 9th

Thanksgiving 2021 brought us our first three-way trade ever! Kevin's playoff hopes were all but dead, so he focused on grabbing Kupp as a keeper for next year, with Richie and Dave reaping the rewards.

Richie came out way ahead in this trade in week 12, as Allen (28.30) and Patterson (26.40) had huge games for him while Tagovailoa (14.50) and Stevenson (4.60) had relatively low scores for his opponent. Dave got a decent game from Adams (13.87), traded Edwards-Helaire away (see below), and is waiting for Kelce to finish his bye week.

Trade between Dave and Scott

Dave received:

• DeVonta Smith - from Scott - keeper cost: 4th

Scott received:

• Clyde Edwards-Helaire - from Dave - keeper cost: 2nd

With A.J. Brown moved to IR, Dave needed some immediate help in week 12. Enter Smith, who only scored 2.93 points, albeit in a game that Dave lost by nearly 50. Scott is assuming he'll have a late second round pick where Edwards-Helaire will have solid keeper value.

Standings

1. Derrek, 10-2, 1,351.93 (x)
2. Matt, 10-2, 1,238.43 (x)
3. Babel, 9-3, 1,362.48
4. Dave, 9-3, 1,214.32
5. Richie, 8-4, 1,362.87
6. Rabbit, 8-4, 1,303.51
7. Schertz, 7-5, 1,228.55
8. Ed, 5-7, 1,225.76 (e)
9. Kevin, 5-7, 1,183.31 (e)
10. Mike R., 3-9, 1,129.82 (e)
11. Pulley, 3-9, 1,104.41 (e)
12. Scott, 3-9, 896.87 (e)
13. Pat, 2-10, 1,147.70 (e)
14. Rob, 2-10, 1,029.45 (e)

Blingalytics Ratings

1. Derrek, 697
2. Babel, 684
3. Richie, 667
4. Rabbit, 583
5. Ed, 550
6. Schertz, 537
7. Dave, 522
8. Matt, 509
9. Kevin, 476
10. Pat, 446
11. Mike R., 433
12. Pulley, 402
13. Rob, 319
14. Scott, 175

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Derrek took home his second straight Team Blangums with 125.59.

Slapped Heartbeat

Schertz put up the lowest score of 2021 (44.40) and the thirteenth lowest of all time.

Derrek vs. Schertz was just the eighteenth Gumslapper in Blingaleague history.

Weekly MVP

Leonard Fournette scored four touchdowns and 38.13 points for Ed.

Dud of the Week

Najee Harris (4.17) scored just a tad less than Nick Chubb (4.67) to take this award. Both options being on Babel's team is a big reason he was the victim of a historic upset.

Start of the Week

Four games were decided by less than eight points in week 12, but the winners of those games either left points on the bench or didn't have any real decisions that mattered.

Misplay of the Week

While none of our close games were decided by a smart play, three of them did swing on bad choices.

Babel went with the Rams defense (-1.00) over the Browns (11.00).

Rob played C.J. Uzomah (1.20) over Gerald Everett (10.93).

Pulley played Marquise Goodwin (zero) over Randall Cobb (16.67).

Pickup of the Week

Babel picked up Evan McPherson as was rewarded with 13.00 points.

Blessed Cahoots

Leonard Fournette (38.13) opted to score a touchdown instead of taking a knee at the one late in a tie game. The 4.10 points that last yard netted for Ed (it's not 6.10, because Tampa Bay got an interception on the next possession for Pulley) covered his margin of victory.

Pryor Play of the Week

Odell Beckham, Jr.'s 16.80 for Pulley was his highest score of the year by more than five points. That's the kind of week this award was created to recognize.

D'Ernest D'oh

Rabbit dropped Evan McPherson after his huge week 11. He didn't need McPherson's 13.00 points, but it would have given him a little more breathing room against Rob.

Playoff Scenarios

Derrek has clinched a playoff berth.

Derrek clinches a bye with:

• a win AND a Babel loss.

Matt has clinched a playoff berth.

Matt clinches a bye with:

• a win AND a Babel loss AND a Dave loss.

Babel clinches a playoff berth with:

• a win OR a Schertz loss.

Dave clinches a playoff berth with:

• a win OR a Schertz loss.

Richie clinches a playoff berth with:

• a win AND a Schertz loss.

Rabbit clinches a playoff berth with:

• a win AND a Schertz loss.

(Rob, Pat, Scott, Pulley, Mike R., Kevin, and Ed have been eliminated from playoff contention.)

Playoff Scenarios, Part II

Derrek and Matt punched their tickets to the postseason in week 12, and could lock up byes if things go right this week.

Babel is technically still at risk of missing out, but he'd have to lose both his remaining games while Schertz won both of his and made up more than 130 points in the process (and the three teams currently between them all did enough to pass Babel, too). It's extremely likely Babel will hold onto a playoff berth at this point. Babel is also still very much alive for a bye; he has more points than either team ahead of him in the standings, so if he can get back on track and finish 2-0, all he'll need is a loss by Derrek or Matt to enable him to skip the quarterfinals.

Dave can't be quite as confident in making the playoffs for the first time in four years. He needs the same combination of his own losses and Schertz wins, but Schertz is already ahead of him in points, so his risk is a lot higher than Babel's. But he's still very likely to make it, as any single favorable outcome in one of his and Schertz's four remaining games puts him in. Dave's bye chances are obviously lower than Babel's, but winning out would also mean Derrek's taken one loss, so he could use that as a way to sneak into a top two seed.

Richie can technically miss the playoffs even if he wins this week, but as our overall points leader, a win (or a Schertz loss) would effectively guarantee his first playoff berth since 2015. A bye is pretty unlikely, though, as there are just too many teams that currently have more wins than Richie.

Rabbit can be nearly as comfortable as Richie, as he has a healthy point lead on Schertz. Rabbit would probably have to lose out to miss the playoffs for the fifth straight year.

Schertz will need multiple things to go right to reach the postseason, not the least of which is his own team bouncing back from week 12's awful showing. A single loss would more or less seal his fate.

Week 13 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

D's Nuts (Derrek, 10-2, 1st) vs. Super Bash Bros. (Dave, 9-3, 4th)

Derrek leads all-time series, 9-4.

These two teams have 19 wins between them. Only one game in history was between teams with as many combined wins; when 10-2 Matt defeated 11-1 Mike R. in 2012's rivalry week, they had 21!

Derrek is coming off two consecutive Team Blangums weeks - the first time he's ever accomplished that feat. He's looking to join 2008 Kevin, 2010 Rabbit, and 2014 Pulley as the only teams to have the high score three weeks in a row. The last (and only) time he was in first place after week 12, he took home the Sanderson Cup. (His 2018 is eerily similar to this year; his week 12 win in each year was good enough for Team Blangums and extended his active winning streak to five games.)

This week, he has some key players with excellent matchups; Jonathan Taylor (@HOU), Justin Jefferson (@DET), and Rob Gronkowski (@ATL) are all going up against some of the worst teams in the league. If Patrick Mahomes II (vs. DEN) can replicate his most recent Sunday night performance, D could be looking at a Blangums threepeat.

Dave just had his own long winning streak (seven games) snapped. He was fortunate it lasted that long, as his last win earned him Blessed Cahoots. He made eight trades this year, which shattered the single-season record of six by 2017 Ed; has the constant turnover resulted in a team with more holes than anticipated?

This week, he'll get to start Travis Kelce (vs. DEN) for the first time and Kyler Murray (@CHI) for just the second, which is encouraging. Alvin Kamara (vs. DAL) also could be back. But it also looks like Dave will have a tight end, T.J. Hockenson (vs. MIN), in one of his flex spots; that feels suboptimal for a team that loaded up like he has.

Pick: D's Nuts.

Other Blingamatches

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 10-2, 2nd) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 8-4, 6th)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 10-7.

Our second matchup between current playoff teams is a rematch of Blingabowls II and IV.

Matt's outplayed his peripherals - he's just 5th in total points and 8th(!) in expected wins and all-play record - and finds himself on an eight game winning streak. His luck could be running out, though, as it appears he's just lost Dalvin Cook for a few weeks. Josh Jacobs (vs. WAS) is an acceptable substitute at running back, but, like Dave, it looks like Matt'll need to turn to a tight end (Dawson Knox (vs. NE)) in one of his flex spots. This means his normal tight end, Mark Andrews (@PIT), might have to have an extra-good game to keep Matt in play for the regular season championship.

Rabbit has once again lost his star RB, Christian McCaffrey, to IR, but he does benefit from Matt's misfortune; Alexander Mattison (@DET) will be the real-life fill-in for Dalvin Cook, and has as a great matchup. A win would really cement Rabbit's playoff chances, so it would also be a good time for Emmanuel Sanders (vs. NE) to get back on track.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

schertzopotamus (Schertz, 7-5, 7th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 5-7, 9th)

Kevin leads all-time series, 6-4.

After week 7, Schertz and Kevin had a combined record of 11-3 and were in 2nd and 4th place, respectively. Since then, they have one win between them; it sure looks like our last two Sanderson Cup winners are going to sit out the postseason this year.

Schertz is technically still alive for the playoffs, but the loss of Derrick Henry during week 8 has really hurt his team. It hasn't helped that Tom Brady (@ATL) has had three of his five worst weeks - along with a bye - since then. Fortunately, Brady and Mike Evans (@ATL) have a great matchup this week to turn things around. Unfortunately, Stefon Diggs (vs. NE) has a tough one.

Kevin has now been officially eliminated, so it's not a huge deal for him that D.J. Moore and Kareem Hunt have bye weeks. Cooper Kupp (vs. JAC) is on board for next year already, and he has a great chance at extending the gap between himself and the rest of the WRs in the league against the hapless Jaguars this week.

Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.

Swift Justice (Babel, 9-3, 3rd) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 3-9, 11th)

Babel leads all-time series, 12-10.

Babel was in first place from week 4 through week 11 before falling to third this past week, and he has to be worried about a 2008-style collapse. He finally used his #1 waiver wire position to claim Jamaal Williams (vs. MIN), who is expected to get the majority of the RB touches for the Lions with D'Andre Swift injured. Adam Thielen (@DET) and Keenan Allen (@CIN) have been consistent performers for Babel in different ways; the former is almost completely touchdown-dependent, while the latter has only two scores on the year.

A matchup against Pulley might be just what Babel needs to get back on track, though. The MondoSquad has been a big disappointment this year - Pulley's never had a record this bad before - and it will have to make do without Aaron Rodgers (bye) this week. Joe Mixon (vs. LAC) has been incredible all year, though, and Odell Beckham, Jr. (vs. JAC) may have finally found a good landing spot as a Ram.

Pick: Swift Justice.

DK Country (Richie, 8-4, 5th) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat, 2-10, 13th)

Pat leads all-time series, 6-3.

Richie failed to break 90 points in each of the first two weeks and found himself ranked 13th in total points. Since then, no one has more points, expected wins, or all-play wins than Richie. Acquiring Josh Allen (vs. NE) shored up Richie's biggest weakness, but the Bills QB does face a very good defense this week. Team namesake DK Metcalf (vs. SF) has also struggled recently. However, Austin Ekeler (@CIN) and Cordarelle Patterson (vs. TAM) have both been outstanding this year, so Richie shouldn't be too concerned.

Pat is no stranger to the bottom of the standings, but this year he's really had some bad luck. The 3.35-win gap between his expected wins (5.35) and actual wins (2) is by far the biggest in the league (Mike R. is second with a 2.19-win gap). Eli Mitchell (@SEA) and Elijah Moore (vs. PHI) have provided a late-season spark for Pat and make him anything but a pushover.

Pick: DK Country.

Live Commish (Ed, 5-7, 8th) vs. Two Digit FC (Scott, 3-9, 12th)

Ed leads all-time series, 3-0.

Despite a hiccup in weeks 9-10, Ed has been on a tear since he fell to 1-4 in week 5. Only the big four of Derrek, Babel, Dave, and Richie have been better by points, expected wins, and all-play record, and Ed's three losses in that timeframe have been by less than 26 points combined. DeAndre Hopkins (@CHI) is back too late to make a difference for Ed, but Leonard Fournette (@ATL) has been a big part of Ed's hot streak.

Scott finally broke triple digits (and got a third win) in week 12, but he's still on top of all the wrong historical leaderboards. As of press time, his roster doesn't contain a quarterback expected to start this week.

Pick: Live Commish.

Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 3-9, 10th) vs. Rob for Today (Rob, 2-10, 14th)

Rob leads all-time series, 9-5.

Mike has been this bad only once before. Rob never has.

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

Closing Thoughts

With the playoffs approaching, since we increased Team Blangums payouts and dues and moved to a 14-week regular season this year, please note that the raw payouts for first, second, and third place have changed.

Total money collected: $700

Total paid out to Team Blangums winners: $280 ($20 x 14 weeks)

First place payout: $252 (60% x ($700 - $280))

Second place payout: $126 (30% x ($700 - $280))

Third place payout: $42 (10% x ($700 - $280))

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