The Sanderson Gazette - 2022-09-13 - 2018 All over Again

Derrek was our high scorer. Pat had his heartbeat slapped. Ed scored in the 120's. Babel lost a heartbreaker to someone whose name starts with "R".

Sound familiar? It all happened this way back in week 1, 2018. If history repeats itself, that's good news for Derrek and very bad news for Pat.

Week 1 Recap

Rabbit def. Dave, 128.29-119.51

The rematch of Blingabowl XIV came down to Monday night's game, where Jerry Jeudy (19.60) and Albert Okwuegbunam (4.40) outperformed Rashaad Penny (6.93), giving Rabs the victory over our defending champ.

It was a balanced week for Rabbit; Okwuegbunam's 4.40 was his only single-digit player, and the Dolphins defense (20.00) was his only one in the 20's. Dave had bigger individual games from Jake Herbert (26.05), Davante Adams (24.30), Travis Kelce (22.13), and Clyde Edwards-Helaire (20.47), but Nick Folk's 1.00 was a big reason he lost.

Richie def. Babel, 64.57-63.76

Our lowest scoring game of the week also came down to Monday night, where Russell Wilson (20.20) outscored DK Metcalf (2.80) by just enough to push Richie ahead of Babel. Babel had the high scorer in this matchup, D'Andre Swift (24.53), but beyond that it was populated by duds. This is best exemplified by the TE position, where Mike Gesicki scored 0.13 for Richie and Cole Kmet scored zero for Babel.

Derrek def. Matt, 137.10-91.48

Keepers Justin Jefferson (36.53) and Jonathan Taylor (23.97) - with help from Patrick Mahomes II (38.50) - showed why Derrek is a force to be reckoned with. His big three propelled him to a dominant victory despite duds from Dawson Knox (0.67), D.J. Moore (6.43), and Hunter Renfrow (2.80).

Matt got big games from Saquon Barkley (28.40) and Jalen Hurts (26.65), but it wasn't enough. He'll need more out of keepers Mike Williams (1.33) and Mark Andrews (6.93) to earn his fourth straight bye.

Rob def. Scott, 115.16-100.29

Rob staged a big Sunday comeback behind Michael Pittman, Jr. (22.13); Jaylen Waddle (16.00); and A.J. Dillon (16.63), making up a deficit of more than 50 points from the Thursday night game. Scott got 33.45 from Josh Allen and 19.00 from the Bills defense in that one, but struggled on Sunday night, as Ezekiel Elliott (4.80) and Russell Gage (1.73) were huge disappointments in prime time.

Ed def. Schertz, 122.28-99.75

Ed's QB (Kyler Murray (21.55)) and Schertz's QB (Lamar Jackson (21.35)) offset each other, so Ed's balanced lineup took this one by a fairly comfortable margin. A.J. Brown (20.67) and Cordarelle Patterson (20.13) led the way for the commish, while Stefon Diggs (22.27) on Schertz's side led all scorers.

Kevin def. Pulley, 91.82-73.64

Cooper Kupp (23.07) and Michael Thomas (19.60) led the way for Kevin, who still had some duds (David Njoku (0.93) and Cam Akers (zero)). Pulley's high scorer was Miles Sanders (16.80) and was unable to overcome bad games from Aaron Rodgers (3.65), Robert Woods (1.73), and Alvin Kamara (4.83).

Mike R. def. Pat, 94.27-59.93

Ja'Marr Chase scored 23.20 for Mike in this boring matchup. Only Dalvin Cook (11.40) broke double digits for Pat.

Standings

  1. Derrek, 1-0, 137.10
  2. Rabbit, 1-0, 128.29
  3. Ed, 1-0, 122.28
  4. Rob, 1-0, 115.16
  5. Mike R., 1-0, 94.27
  6. Kevin, 1-0, 91.82
  7. Richie, 1-0, 64.57
  8. Dave, 0-1, 119.51
  9. Scott, 0-1, 100.29
  10. Schertz, 0-1, 99.75
  11. Matt, 0-1, 91.48
  12. Pulley, 0-1, 73.64
  13. Babel, 0-1, 63.76
  14. Pat, 0-1, 59.93

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Derrek, 960
  2. Rabbit, 913
  3. Ed, 871
  4. Dave, 846
  5. Rob, 791
  6. Scott, 536
  7. Schertz, 529
  8. Mike R., 438
  9. Kevin, 394
  10. Matt, 387
  11. Pulley, 150
  12. Richie, 73
  13. Babel, 65
  14. Pat, 48

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Derrek's 137.10 is the ninth highest week one score ever.

Slapped Heartbeat

Pat's 59.93 is the third lowest week one score ever. The good news is that he just has to avoid the next four Slapped Heartbeats to beat his 2018 season.

Weekly MVP

Patrick Mahomes II (38.50) and Justin Jefferson (36.53) were just about equally awesome for D.

Dud of the Week

There were a lot to choose from. Let's go with Cole Kmet, whose zero cost Babel a very close game.

Start of the Week

Richie's team had a bad week, but he still got a win due to playing Devin Singletary (6.67) over Amari Cooper (2.27).

Misplay of the Week

Scott could have played post-draft pickup Devin Duvernay (19.20) over Russell Gage (1.73) and beaten Rob.

Pickup of the Week

The Dolphins defense (20.00) was a great addition to Rabbit's team.

Blessed Cahoots

This one easily goes to Richie, who won a game he should have lost nearly 93% of the time.

Week 2 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

D's Nuts (Derrek, 1-0, 1st) vs. Live Commish (Ed, 1-0, 3rd)

Derrek leads all-time series, 10-7.

Derrek's stars all shined last week; can Patrick Mahomes II (vs. LAC), Justin Jefferson (@PHI), and Jonathan Taylor (@JAC) do it again? Those matchups generally say, "Yes". But given the history of this matchup (more on that in a moment) - and apparent quality of his opponent - D'll need some of his other players to step up. Will D.J. Moore (@NYG) bounce back from a quiet first week? Will Dawson Knox (vs. TEN) break the 1-point barrier? Or will Antonio Gibson (@DET) feast on a defense that gave up several rushing touchdowns last week?

Meanwhile, Ed put up the third highest score in week one and has a solid overall lineup. WRs A.J. Brown (vs. MIN), Mike Evans (@NO), and Christian Kirk (vs. IND) all scored 15+ in week one, and Leonard Fournette (@NO) and Cordarelle Patterson (@LAR) dominated carries for their teams. If Kyle Pitts (@LAR) can hit his potential, Ed could pull the upset.

Since 2018, this is the matchup with the highest average score... with Derrek winning each time. I'm betting both trends continue.

Pick: D's Nuts.

Other Blingamatches

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 1-0, 2nd) vs. Two Digit FC (Scott, 0-1, 9th)

All-time series tied, 2-2.

Rabbit trots out four solid WRs - Tyreek Hill (@BAL), Gabriel Davis (vs. TEN), Jerry Jeudy (vs. HOU), and Amon-Ra St. Brown (vs. WAS) - and Christian McCaffrey (@NYG). That's a good recipe for success.

Scott broke 100 as soon as possible this year, despite the loss, so his team name is no longer appropriate. He'll try to get his first real victory behind Josh Allen (vs. TEN), who had a great week 1, and Deebo Samuel (vs. SEA), who had a good one.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Rob for Today (Rob, 1-0, 4th) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 1-0, 5th)

Rob leads all-time series, 9-6.

I'm not any of us expected these two to both be in playoff position after week 1, but here we are.

Rob should expect Nick Chubb (vs. NYJ) and Michael Pittman, Jr. (@JAC) to repeat their strong week 1 performances, based on their matchups. Terry McLaurin (@DET) has a good one, too, and is anyone going to bet against A.J. Dillon (vs. CHI) and the Packers not blowing the doors off the Bears?

Mike sits at 1-0 despite underwhelming games from Tom Brady (@NO), Allen Robinson II (vs. ATL), and Derrick Henry (@BUF). If they return even mostly to form, they could push Ja'Marr Chase (@DAL) and the rest of his roster to victory.

Pick: Rob for Today.

Super Bash Bros. (Dave, 0-1, 8th) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 0-1, 11th)

Matt leads all-time series, 10-6.

Dave was our highest scoring loser in week one; that's what it's like to have a Sanderson-Cup-shaped target on one's back. Travis Kelce (vs. LAC) and Davante Adams (vs. ARI) look to pick up where they left off, and Justin Herbert (@KC) could be part of a Thursday night shootout. Further down his roster, though, the questions emerge: Was Clyde Edwards-Helaire's (vs. LAC) week 1 for real? Will either of Rashaad Penny (@SF) or Dameon Pierce (@DEN) be valuable players this year?

Matt has to like what Saquon Barkley (vs. CAR) showed in week 1, and it would be hard to get less combined from Mark Andrews (vs. MIA), Mike Williams (@KC), and Courtland Sutton (vs. HOU). Evan McPherson (@DAL) is the current Blingaleague record holder for most points in a single kick, but last week was when kickers mattered in these predictions.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 1-0, 6th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 0-1, 10th)

Kevin leads all-time series, 6-5.

Kevin was happy to walk away with a win last week despite a below-average score. That's not sustainable, so he'll need at least a few of Trevor Lawrence (vs. IND), Rhamondre Stevenson (@PIT), and Cam Akers (vs. ATL) to start producing. (Cooper Kupp (vs. ATL) and Joe Mixon (@DAL) look just fine, though.)

Schertz took a tough-ish loss, as he did have the seventh highest score of week 1. Stefon Diggs (vs. TEN) and Kareem Hunt (vs. NYJ) were great, but he too needs some others to step up. Will it be David Montgomery (@GB) or Aaron Jones (vs. CHI)? Is Lamar Jackson (vs. MIA) due to explode?

Pick: schertzopotamus.

DK Country (Richie, 1-0, 7th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 0-1, 12th)

Pulley leads all-time series, 8-3.

Richie's team was brutal last week, but he still got a win. He'll need just about everyone to step up, from Russell Wilson (vs. HOU) to Austin Ekeler (@KC) to Darnell Mooney (@GB), if he wants to contend for the Cup again.

Pulley outscored Richie last week, but still didn't have much to brag about. Aaron Rodgers (vs. CHI) will be angry and facing Chicago, though, which should mean a big week. And James Robinson (vs. IND) and Miles Sanders (vs. MIN) both look legit this year.

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

Swift Justice (Babel, 0-1, 13th) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat, 0-1, 14th)

Pat leads all-time series, 7-6.

Babel and Pat combined would have still only finished as the third highest score last week. Dak Prescott's injury hurts Babel (who has him) and Pat (who has CeeDee Lamb (12.94)). Let's just leave these two be.

Pick: The Vistas are Back.

Closing Thoughts

If it feels like week 1 had a pretty wide range of scores, that's because it did! The standard deviation for scores was 24.23, the highest ever for a week 1.

And if you were curious after reading the Derrek/Ed preview, here are the top ten matchups by average score, 2018-2021:

  1. 126.23: Derrek vs. Ed
  2. 123.10: Kevin vs. Mike R.
  3. 120.64: Rabbit vs. Schertz
  4. 116.61: Babel vs. Kevin
  5. 115.92: Babel vs. Matt
  6. 115.65: Derrek vs. Schertz
  7. 113.43: Kevin vs. Rabbit
  8. 111.98: Matt vs. Richie
  9. 111.94: Matt vs. Mike R.
  10. 111.92: Matt vs. Pat