The Sanderson Gazette - 2022-10-12 - Tiers

In which we look at how Blingaleague teams have started to group themselves...

Week 5 Recap

Rob def. Dave, 113.55-111.07

Thanks to big games from Nick Chubb (25.40), the Cowboys defense (25.00), and Justin Tucker (17.30), Rob looked to have this completely in control prior to the Monday night game. But Davante Adams (28.53) and Travis Kelce (27.33) nearly led Dave to a comeback for the ages.

Rob also won the battle of third-year QBs, as Joe Burrow (18.45) outshined Justin Herbert (16.20).

Matt def. Schertz, 128.46-123.90

Just two weeks after needing to win Team Blangums to defeat Ed, Matt had to do it again to defeat Schertz. Justin Hurts (29.05) was Matt's leading scorer, and keepers Mark Andrews and Mike Williams put up identical 17.87-point scores. Schertz got 25.87 from Tyler Lockett and 17.00 from the 49ers defense in his brutal loss. (If you're keeping track, this is fourteenth time the second highest score of the week has lost.)

Scott def. Ed, 118.97-95.44

Both Josh Allen (39.40) and Breece Hall (29.03) had huge games for Scott, who wound up winning fairly easily. Ed got 28.67 from Leonard Fournette in the losing effort.

Rabbit def. Richie, 88.83-83.70

The lowest scoring game of the week somehow had two thirty-point players: Gabriel Davis (34.80) for Rabbit and Austin Ekeler (32.77) for Richie. That means we really don't need to discuss the rest of their rosters.

Mike R. def. Pulley, 94.56-83.60

Despite big games from Derrick Henry (26.20) and Tom Brady (23.25), Mike had a closer call than he expected in this one. That was due to Darren Waller's zero on Monday night. Pulley's high scorer was Aaron Rodgers (18.10).

Kevin def. Babel, 90.73-80.08

As usual, it was Cooper Kupp (23.07) who led the way for Kevin. Rhamondre Stevenson (17.97) helped offset Trevor Lawrence's (13.20) mediocre score, too. Babel, like Pulley, failed to start a twenty-point scorer; Derek Carr just missed with 19.35.

Derrek def. Pat, 121.68-98.61

Josh Jacobs's (26.60) Monday night performance nearly got Pat his first triple-digit score of the year, but he fell just short. He fell much farther short of his opponent, though. Derrek had an even better Monday night, as Patrick Mahomes II scored 31.90 and Daniel Carlson put up 17.00.

Standings

  1. Rob, 4-1, 551.57
  2. Schertz, 3-2, 605.78
  3. Scott, 3-2, 588.90
  4. Ed, 3-2, 576.44
  5. Matt, 3-2, 575.10
  6. Derrek, 3-2, 517.66
  7. Rabbit, 3-2, 481.18
  8. Kevin, 3-2, 457.68
  9. Dave, 2-3, 538.37
  10. Mike R., 2-3, 449.04
  11. Pulley, 2-3, 429.50
  12. Richie, 2-3, 397.48
  13. Pat, 1-4, 416.87
  14. Babel, 1-4, 410.52

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Ed, 712
  2. Schertz, 710
  3. Rob, 695
  4. Scott, 692
  5. Matt, 691
  6. Dave, 644
  7. Derrek, 543
  8. Rabbit, 469
  9. Kevin, 411
  10. Mike R., 364
  11. Pulley, 303
  12. Pat, 291
  13. Babel, 256
  14. Richie, 218

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Matt's 128.46 was good for his second Team Blangums of the season.

Slapped Heartbeat

"Lol Babel's score was BOOB" - Rob

In all seriousness, Babel's 80.08 was a fairly impressive Slapped Heartbeat score - just the tenth ever to break 80.

Weekly MVP

Josh Allen scored 39.40 for Scott and didn't even play the whole game.

Dud of the Week

The Dolphins defense scored -4.00 for Dave, who lost by less than three points.

Start of the Week

Matt played George Pickens and his 11.07 over Corey Davis (5.07) and Romeo Doubs (3.87), beating Schertz by less than five points in the process.

Rob gets an honorable mention for playing Terry McLaurin's 10.13 over Michael Pittman, Jr.'s 7.87, but he also kept A.J. Dillon's 3.40 and Jaylen Waddle's 3.07 in his lineup over those two guys, too.

Misplay of the Week

Dave played the Miami defense (-4.00). Had he left the slot empty, he'd have won.

Pryor Play of the Week

Dalvin Cook (25.00) nearly doubled his previous high for Pat.

D'Ernest D'oh

Dave picked up the Miami defense (-4.00) and cost himself a win.

Week 6 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Three Digit FC (Scott, 3-2, 3rd) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 3-2, 5th)

All-time series tied, 2-2.

Scott and Matt have won our last three Team Blangums awards and make up two-fifths of what appears to be the league's current top tier. Ed, Schertz, Rob, Scott, and Matt all have between 3.45 and 3.56 expected wins; we've never even had four teams with that many expected wins at the five-week mark before, let alone five.

QB is a strength for both Scott and Matt, who have Josh Allen (@KC) and Jalen Hurts (vs. DAL), respectively. The opposing defense certainly seems to favor Scott, there.

The biggest mismatch is at TE, which is very much in Matt's favor. T.J. Hockenson (bye) may have been instrumental to Scott's week 4 Blangums, but even if he were playing this week, he'd be considered a tier or two below Matt's Mark Andrews (@NYG).

So this game might come down to which rookie RB performs better. Will Breece Hall (@GB) continue his recent hot streak for Scott? Or will Ken Walker III (vs. ARI) capitalize on Rashaad Penny's injury for Matt?

Pick: Three Digit FC.

Other Blingamatches

Rob for Today (Rob, 4-1, 1st) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 3-2, 6th)

Derrek leads all-time series, 10-9.

Rob, at 4-1, is solidly in that top tier with Scott and Matt. Derrek's only a game behind, but his peripherals place him at least one tier lower (depending on how many tiers you want to have), somewhere towards the top of the creamy middle of Blingaleague 2022.

Nick Chubb (vs. NE) has been fantastic for Rob, even if the rest of his roster has been less consistent. The good news is that the poor performances Jaylen Waddle (vs. MIN); Michael Pittman, Jr. (vs. JAC), and Terry McLaurin (vs. MIN) have had haven't happened at the same time. That's why Rob remains one of two teams to break 100 every week (Scott is the other).

Derrek's gotten some huge games from Patrick Mahomes II (vs. BUF) and Justin Jefferson (@MIA), but also some disappointing ones. It's arguable that Daniel Carlson (bye) has been his best player; will D keep him rostered through his bye week?

Pick: Rob for Today.

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 3-2, 7th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 3-2, 8th)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 8-7.

If Derrek's towards the top of the middle tier of the league, then Rabbit and Kevin are probably at the bottom of it. With the lowest point totals of the seven 3-2 teams, they both could really use a win this week to keep their playoff hopes strong.

That means it's not a great week for Rabs to have Jared Goff and Amon-Ra St. Brown on bye. Christian McCaffrey (@LAR) is still a lock for double digits, though, and Gabriel Davis (@KC) went off the last time he faced the Chiefs. If Tyreek Hill (vs. MIN) continues his odd/even pattern, that bodes well for Rabbit.

Kevin has the WR equivalent of McCaffrey in the form of Cooper Kupp (vs. CAR) - and their real-life teams even play each other this week! Joe Mixon (@NO) hasn't been awful, but Kev really needs him to step up to return to glory.

Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.

schertzopotamus (Schertz, 3-2, 2nd) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 2-3, 10th)

Schertz leads all-time series, 6-4.

The Gentleman's Tussle is our first top-vs.-bottom tier matchup of the week. Schertz is clearly in tier one, leading the league in points and sitting at second in expected wins. Mike R. is all the way down in the bottom tier - though clearly the best team there.

Lamar Jackson (@NYG) has gone from otherworldly in weeks 1-3 to somewhat mediocre in weeks 4-5 for Schertz. Luckily, Tyler Lockett (vs. ARI) has been outperforming expectations, and Stefon Diggs (@KC) and Aaron Jones (vs. NYJ) have been hitting theirs.

For Mike R., not having Derrick Henry (bye) this week will probably be costly. It would be a good time for Ja'Marr Chase (@NO) to recapture his rookie year magic.

Pick: schertzopotamus.

Live Commish (Ed, 3-2, 4th) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat, 1-4, 13th)

Ed leads all-time series, 9-4.

Here's another top-vs.-bottom tier matchup. Despite a sub-100 week 5, Ed still leads the league in expected wins. And despite outscoring Ed in week 5, Pat still has just the one win.

Ed will have a new face in his lineup this week, as Clyde Edwards-Helaire (vs. BUF) has replaced A.J. Brown via trade. Mike Evans (@PIT) and Leonard Fournette (@PIT) are still around, and so is Kyler Murray (@SEA), with an enticing matchup.

Pat's got some bye week issues, as Josh Jacobs - who's been on a tear lately - and Brandin Cooks are both resting. Dalvin Cook (@MIA) got his shit together last week, though, and CeeDee Lamb (@PHI) has been solid all year.

Pick: Live Commish.

Super Bash Bros. (Dave, 2-3, 9th) vs. DK Country (Richie, 2-3, 12th)

Richie leads all-time series, 6-5.

Despite having the same record, Dave and Richie find themselves in different tiers. Dave's points scored and expected wins put him closer to tier one than the next best team in tier two (Derrek), while Richie is ranked 14th by both those metrics.

Travis Kelce (vs. BUF) has been Dave's best player, and he'll hope new acquisition A.J. Brown (vs. DAL) slides into his #2 slot this week. That's because Davante Adams and Dameon Pierce are both on bye. A big Monday night game from Justin Herbert (vs. DEN) would also help Dave avoid a 2-4 start.

Richie's been getting great games from Austin Ekeler (vs. DEN) lately, but Amari Cooper's (vs. NE) been inconsistent (what else is new?) and James Conner (@SEA) has been a big disappointment (and might not even play this week). That's a big reason why Richie's just the 13th team ever to fail to hit 400 points at the five-week mark.

Pick: Super Bash Bros.

Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 2-3, 11th) vs. Swift Justice (Babel, 1-4, 14th)

Babel leads all-time series, 12-11.

We come to our last matchup, which is between two of our bottom tier teams. Neither Pulley nor Babel has hit triple digits yet this year.

Alvin Kamara (vs. CIN) finally had a big game last week, but it was on Pulley's bench. Aaron Rodgers (vs. NYJ) hasn't hit the twenty-point mark to date. Miles Sanders (vs. DAL) and James Robinson (@IND) have had some really good games, but also some duds. There's some reason for hope here, but Pulley just needs his pieces to perform well at the same time for once.

Meanwhile, Babel's injury-ridden team is also littered with byes this week. Derek Carr, D'Andre Swift, Nico Collins, and Mack Hollins are all resting. Keenan Allen (vs. DEN) and Damien Harris (@CLE) are both hurt (and the latter almost certainly not going to play). At least DK Metcalf (vs. ARI) has been good the past three weeks.

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

Closing Thoughts

Week 5's average margin of 11.48 is the second lowest of all time (sort by "Margin").