The Sanderson Gazette - 2022-10-19 - I Wanna Be Like You

Collectively, we averaged 91.30 points in week 6. That's the lowest mark of the season by nearly five full points, and the 23rd lowest-scoring week ever.

The average margin of 14.00 was the 12th closest ever, though.

Week 6 Recap

Scott def. Matt, 107.76-92.05

The Game of the Blingaweek looked like it would turn during Monday Night Football, which Scott entered with less than a 14-point lead and Donald Parham, Jr. (7.07) still to play. Given that Matt had Mike Williams (2.27), Courtland Sutton (1.87), and Melvin Gordon III (0.80) playing then, it looked like a come-from-behind win was likely. But in a fairly surprising twist, Parham outscored Matt's three players on his own, and Scott moved to 4-2 on the year, as well as second place.

Josh Allen (29.15) and Breece Hall (18.27) were once again great for the victor, while Mark Andrews (20.13) and Ken Walker III (17.43) had strong games for the loser.

Richie def. Dave, 86.00-75.13

This was another matchup that wasn't decided until Monday night, when Austin Ekeler (15.87) and Russell Wilson (13.70) scored enough for Richie to stay ahead of Dave. (Our defending champ had Justin Herbert (9.80) and Mike Boone (0.50).)

Pat def. Ed, 87.38-84.80

JuJu Smith-Schuster put up 21.07 and Alec Pierce added 12.53 as Pat pulled off a big upset. Ed got good games from Leonard Fournette (17.37) and Jason Myers (14.20), but saw the rest of his team underperform.

Mike R. def. Schertz, 79.51-76.69

The Gentleman's Tussle was our duddiest dud of the week and featured another upset. Stefon Diggs (25.73) exploded for Schertz, but Ja'Marr Chase's (29.60) slightly higher score for Mike R. provided more than the margin of victory in this matchup.

Babel def. Pulley, 96.64-85.63

Deon Jackson (20.73) and Chase Claypool (19.60) powered Babel's injury- and bye-ridden team past Pulley. The MondoSquad's leading scorer was kicker Brandon McManus (13.60), which is usually a bad sign.

Rabbit def. Kevin, 117.18-94.42

Rabbit achieved the high score of the week behind Tyreek Hill (23.60), Christian McCaffrey (18.77), and Gabriel Davis (15.87). Kevin got 21.60 from Rhamondre Stevenson, but saw Cooper Kupp (12.37) finally underperform.

Rob def. Derrek, 113.64-81.37

Rob stayed in first place thanks to Joe Burrow (34.00) and Michael Pittman, Jr. (17.87). Derrek had a rough week, as Dawson Knox (10.93) and Donovan Peoples-Jones (10.07) were his only position players who outperformed expectations.

Trades

Trade between Dave and Ed

Dave received:

  • A.J. Brown - from Ed - keeper cost: 2nd
  • Jameson Williams - from Ed - keeper cost: 10th

Ed received:

  • Clyde Edwards-Helaire - from Dave - keeper cost: 4th
  • Tyler Allgeier - from Dave - keeper cost: 9th

As always, Ed made a trade that immediately led to a loss. Despite shipping out Brown to shore up his depth and patch over injuries, Ed could have kept the Eagles WR and an empty starting slot and won his game this week. Instead, he lost a close game, and Edwards-Helaire and Allgeier couldn't crack double digits between them.

Dave got the better end of the deal, but still couldn't win his game.

Standings

  1. Rob, 5-1, 665.21
  2. Scott, 4-2, 696.66
  3. Rabbit, 4-2, 598.36
  4. Schertz, 3-3, 682.47
  5. Matt, 3-3, 667.15
  6. Ed, 3-3, 661.24
  7. Derrek, 3-3, 599.03
  8. Kevin, 3-3, 552.10
  9. Mike R., 3-3, 528.55
  10. Richie, 3-3, 483.48
  11. Dave, 2-4, 613.50
  12. Pulley, 2-4, 515.13
  13. Babel, 2-4, 507.16
  14. Pat, 2-4, 504.25

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Rob, 724
  2. Scott, 707
  3. Ed, 659
  4. Matt, 659
  5. Schertz, 638
  6. Dave, 580
  7. Rabbit, 543
  8. Derrek, 509
  9. Kevin, 432
  10. Mike R., 356
  11. Pulley, 320
  12. Pat, 314
  13. Babel, 309
  14. Richie, 250

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Rabbit's 117.18 is the lowest Team Blangums score of the year, and the 14th lowest of all time.

Slapped Heartbeat

Dave's 75.13 edged out Schertz. It's our defending champ's 10th Slapped Heartbeat in the last four seasons - the third-most ever in a four-season span. (Pat had 12 from 2009-2012, and 11 from 2010-2013 and 2015-2018.)

Weekly MVP

Joe Burrow put up 34.00 for Rob.

Dud of the Week

Dave keeps ranting about Elijah Moore, but keeps starting him. This week he bottomed out with a zero.

Start of the Week

Pat needed a bye week fill-in and chose JuJu Smith-Schuster (21.07) over Chase Edmonds (4.03), which was key to his victory.

Misplay of the Week

For the second time, Ed will get this for playing Kyler Murray (14.10) over Kirk Cousins (16.75); that 2.65-point different would have just barely covered the margin of his loss.

Pickup of the Week

Deon Jackson's 20.73 was a great addition to Babel's team.

Blessed Cahoots

Mike R. won despite a sub-80 score; he's just the third team to do that this year.

Pryor Play of the Week

Ja'Marr Chase put up 29.60 for Mike; he scored 32.74 from weeks 2-5 combined.

D'Ernest D'oh

Ed traded A.J. Brown and lost because of it. That'll suffice here.

Week 7 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Rob for Today (Rob, 5-1, 1st) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 3-3, 4th)

Schertz leads all-time series, 9-3.

Rob's is in first place, and thanks to his consistent ability to break 100, has the most expected wins in the league. Not only that, his most similar team through six weeks is 2015 Pulley - who wouldn't lose another game as he rolled to a championship.

At 3-3, Schertz's list of most similar teams isn't as encouraging - but it does contain 2011 Rabbit, who rallied to finish 8-5 and win Blingabowl IV.

This week, it looks like Rob, like the team he aspires to be, will keep rolling. Joe Burrow (vs. ATL) has been heating up, and Nick Chubb (@BAL) should bounce back from his first mediocre week. And more importantly, Schertz has Stefon Diggs and Tyler Bass on bye; Lamar Jackson (vs. CLE) and Aaron Jones (@WAS) will need to step up to pull him above .500 once again.

Pick: Rob for Today.

Other Blingamatches

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 4-2, 3rd) vs. Live Commish (Ed, 3-3, 6th)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 12-5.

Rabbit doesn't have any former champions among his ten most similar teams. In fact, he doesn't even have any that earned byes. I suppose 2018 Pulley is the one he'd want to emulate most; that version of the Pullman finished 9-4, but fell from 3rd to 6th during the playoffs.

Ed's top two comps are the current versions of Matt and Schertz, but his third is last year's Rabbit, who finished 9-5 and made it to the Blingabowl. (Though mimicking Schertz and wanting to win it all like 2011 Rabbit is also an option.)

Despite their places in the standings, Ed is projected by Yahoo to win. Kyler Murray (vs. NO) will need to get his act, together, though; he's had less than 20 points in three of the six weeks so far. Leonard Fournette (@CAR) and Chris Olave (@ARI) have good matchups, though. Rabs will look for Tyreek Hill (vs. PIT) to have another great day and for Amon-Ra St. Brown (@DAL) to return to his early-season glory.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

D's Nuts (Derrek, 3-3, 7th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 3-3, 8th)

Derrek leads all-time series, 11-5.

Derrek's taken quite a step down from last year, so he finds only three playoff teams among his ten most similar through six weeks. Of those, 2011 Ed went on a 6-1 run to end the season and finish in first place (though he flamed out in the playoffs). That seems unlikely for D, but it's something to shoot for.

Kevin's probably aspiring to be 2020 Matt, whom he beat in Blingabowl XIII. But, like for D, that will be an uphill climb.

Patrick Mahomes II (@SF) has a tough matchup for Derrek, while Trevor Lawrence (vs. NYG) has a little bit better one for Kev. D also gets to play DeAndre Hopkins (vs. NO) for the first time this year... and Kevin won't get to play Cooper Kupp (bye).

Pick: D's Nuts.

Three Digit FC (Scott, 4-2, 2nd) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat, 2-4, 13th)

Scott leads all-time series, 3-1.

Scott measures up fairly well against a Blingaleague legend, 2012 Matt. That year, Matt never found himself in first place, but was always among an obvious top tier, and eventually took home the Sanderson Cup. Could history repeat itself?

Pat's in 13th place, so he doesn't have many high flyers on his list of similar teams. But there's evidence he could finish over .500 - his own 2016 team did.

Despite the wide gap between their teams so far, Pat might actually have a shot at yet another upset. He gets Josh Jacobs (vs. HOU) back, and Scott will be without Josh Allen (bye) and the Bills defense (bye).

Pick: Three Digit FC.

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 3-3, 5th) vs. Swift Justice (Babel, 2-4, 14th)

Matt leads all-time series, 11-5.

If you been following along, it won't surprise you that 2022 Ed is Matt's #1 top comp. And that 2021 and 2011 Rabbit are the ones on his list that saw the most success by season's end.

As for Babel, well, it's not good. An absolutely forgettable version of Allen is his top historical comparison, and only 2016 Pat rallied to finish with seven or more wins.

Matt's team is pretty clearly better, but he won't have Jalen Hurts (bye) this week. And Babel might finally be back at full strength, with Dak Prescott (vs. DET), D'Andre Swift (@DAL), and Keenan Allen (vs. SEA) looking like they'll play.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 3-3, 9th) vs. DK Country (Richie, 3-3, 10th)

All-time series tied, 5-5.

Mike's expected wins fall a good bit below his .500 record, so it's not shocking his historic best-case scenario is to finish 8-5 like 2019 Babel.

Richie has 2010 Allen to look up to. Dr. Touchdown's first nine weeks that year were historically bad, but he completely turned his season around in week 10 and made it all the way to the semifinals.

That said, Mike looks to have the upper hand this week. He gets Derrick Henry (vs. IND) back from bye, while Richie has to put Devin Singletary (bye) on his bench.

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

Super Bash Bros. (Dave, 2-4, 11th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 2-4, 12th)

All-time series tied, 8-8.

Dave's only 2-4, but when he's not getting his heartbeat slapped, he's been putting up impressive scores. So it wouldn't be too ambitious if he wanted to follow the footsteps of 2014 Babel, who was better than his 2-4 record, got hot at the perfect time, and won Blingabowl VII.

Pulley's also 2-4, but his list of similar teams is far less encouraging. It's almost exactly the same as Babel's - which makes sense, as they're each other's #1. So I guess we can highlight (lowlight?) 2017 Mike R., who famously failed to break 100 all season, and 2017 Allen, which was his final Blingaleague squad.

Both these guys had QBs that disappointed in week 6. I have more confidence that Justin Herbert (vs. SEA) will bounce back for Dave than Aaron Rodgers (@WAS) will for Pulley.

Pick: Super Bash Bros.

Closing Thoughts

Congratulations to Scott (and Jen) for welcoming baby Ada into the world on October 10th! Everyone is doing well!