The Sanderson Gazette - 2022-11-09 - Period

Week 9 Recap

Kevin def. Scott, 128.34-83.91

It was the Joe Mixon show for Kevin, as the Bengals RB scored a whopping 53.03 points (more on that later). Cooper Kupp (23.03) was his next highest scorer, a mere thirty points lower than Mixon.

Scott put up his lowest score of the year, avoiding getting his heartbeat slapped due to Kenyan Drake's impressive 23.43.

Babel def. Rob, 106.71-98.06

Babel sprung a huge upset in the Dickran Duel behind Nick Folk (18.30) and Mecole Hardman (16.53). Just like we all envisioned, right? Rob got strong games from Jaylen Waddle (17.33) and Curtis Samuel (16.27), but couldn't close the deal.

The Redboner award goes to Michael Pittman, Jr. (2.93).

Pat def. Rabbit, 76.85-73.05

Pat went into Monday night needing a little less than six points from Chris Olave, who put up 9.47 and pushed Pat to victory. Tyreek Hill's 25.07 were wasted for Rabbit, as guys like Caleb Huntley (3.40), Gabriel Davis (4.40), and especially Robert Woods (zero) put up duds.

Pat's leading scorer was Dallas Goedert (19.33).

Pulley def. Schertz, 106.32-81.97

Travis Etienne, Jr. (25.17) led the way for Pulley, who broke triple digits for the second straight week and moved to the edge of playoff contention. Miles Sanders (15.30) and Allen Lazard (17.60) also came through for the MondoSquad. Meanwhile, Schertz lost his fifth in a row, with only Tyler Lockett (14.93) and the Seattle defense (10.00) doing anything notable.

Ed def. Richie, 96.38-91.43

Ed was glad to see Cordarrelle Patterson back, getting 17.60 from the Falcons RB. Christian Kirk added 16.13 as he outlasted Richie. Tua Tagovailoa (27.10) was the MVP on the losing side.

Dave def. Mike R., 116.28-89.47

Newcomer Dalvin Cook (11.90) and stalwart Derrick Henry (23.50) couldn't do nearly enough to keep Mike competitive in this one. Instead, Davante Adams's 31.47 and the Patriots defense's 28.00 allowed Dave to cruise to a much-needed victory.

Derrek def. Matt, 109.53-72.02

Derrek's stars led the way in this one. Patrick Mahomes II scored 36.60 and Justin Jefferson added 22.33. Those two weren't enough on their own to beat the suddenly floundering Matt, but it was close. Ken Walker III's 25.57 was the only thing that kept Matt from a very embarrassing total.

Trades

Trade between Matt and Rob

Matt received:

  • Tyler Boyd - from Rob - keeper cost: 8th
  • Deon Jackson - from Rob - keeper cost: 9th

Rob received:

  • Mike Williams - from Matt - keeper cost: 3rd

Matt needed some immediate help - he started Rex Burkhead this week, after all - and Rob could afford to take risks on injured players, so this trade made sense from both sides. Matt can't be feeling great about it after a week, though, as Boyd (5.87) and Jackson (4.03) combined for less than ten points.

Trade between Mike R. and Pat

Mike R. received:

  • Dalvin Cook - from Pat - keeper cost: 1st

Pat received:

  • Ja'Marr Chase - from Mike R. - keeper cost: 2nd

Pat continued to acquire keepers, this time giving up his first overall pick. Mike certainly got more out of Cook (11.90) than Chase this week, but it didn't make a difference in his result.

Standings

  1. Rob, 7-2, 1,004.81
  2. Scott, 5-4, 983.60
  3. Ed, 5-4, 967.37
  4. Derrek, 5-4, 930.21
  5. Kevin, 5-4, 922.73
  6. Rabbit, 5-4, 871.71
  7. Mike R., 5-4, 851.32
  8. Dave, 4-5, 949.20
  9. Matt, 4-5, 906.58
  10. Pulley, 4-5, 804.36
  11. Richie, 4-5, 785.10
  12. Pat, 4-5, 783.10
  13. Schertz, 3-6, 970.11
  14. Babel, 3-6, 768.64

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Rob, 712
  2. Dave, 617
  3. Scott, 611
  4. Ed, 609
  5. Schertz, 567
  6. Derrek, 557
  7. Kevin, 546
  8. Matt, 509
  9. Rabbit, 476
  10. Mike R., 438
  11. Pulley, 368
  12. Pat, 336
  13. Richie, 332
  14. Babel, 322

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Kevin took home his second Team Blangums in three weeks with a score of 128.34.

Slapped Heartbeat

Matt just edged out Rabbit here, 72.02 to 73.05.

Weekly MVP

Joe Mixon. 53.05.

That cracks the top five individual scores in league history. The complete list of 50-point players:

Dud of the Week

Rabbit lost a close game. Robert Woods's zero was a big part of that.

Start of the Week

Babel played Joshua Palmer (14.13) over Chase Claypool (2.13) and won by 8.65.

Misplay of the Week

Rabbit could have played Jerick McKinnon (5.73) over Robert Woods (zero). He lost by 3.80.

Pickup of the Week

Babel picked up Mecole Hardman and got 16.53 out of the deal.

Blessed Cahoots

Pat's 76.85 was the third lowest score of the week, but he won anyway.

Pryor Play of the Week

Joe Mixon's previous high score was 16.60, all the way back in week 1. His 53.03 qualifies here.

Week 10 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Rob for Today (Rob, 7-2, 1st) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 4-5, 9th)

Matt leads all-time series, 13-5.

There are no matchups between two current playoff teams this week, so The Gazette will feature this one between teams that looked like two championship contenders... two weeks ago.

Compared to then, Rob hasn't changed much. He's still in first place and has the most expected wins. Nick Chubb (@MIA) and Jaylen Waddle (vs. CLE) are still rolling. Sure, he finally failed to break 100 in his upset loss to Babel, but only barely. He's the team to beat, at least for now, but is vulnerable this week with Andy Dalton (@PIT) slotted to start at QB while Joe Burrow is on bye.

For Matt, however, what a difference two weeks makes. He's scored just 137.63 in those two weeks combined; that his lowest two-week total in fourteen years. (He scored 124.64 in weeks 10-11 and 135.05 in weeks 7-8 in the 2008 season that he'd like to forget.) Saquon Barkley (vs. HOU) is back from bye, so that's a reason for optimism, and Ken Walker III (@TAM) has been excellent lately. Will Deon Jackson (@LV) have a big revenge game against his former Blingaleague franchise?

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Other Blingamatches

Live Commish (Ed, 5-4, 3rd) vs. Super Bash Bros. (Dave, 4-5, 8th)

Dave leads all-time series, 10-7.

This game is closest to being between two playoff teams, and it looks to be a good one. It's not yet certain if Ed will have Josh Allen (vs. MIN) available, which could be a problem. Outside of that situation, Mike Evans (vs. SEA) and Leonard Fournette (vs. SEA) look to bounce back from a rough week 9, and new acquisition Miles Sanders (vs. WAS) could have a favorable game script.

Dave's been putting up impressive scores despite a sub-500 record, and a lot of that is driven by Travis Kelce's (vs. JAC) steady excellence. Davante Adams (vs. IND) has been all over the place, though, so it's good he nabbed A.J. Brown (vs. WAS) from Ed early in the year.

Pick: Live Commish if Allen plays, Super Bash Bros. if not.

Mostly Three Digit FC (Scott, 5-4, 2nd) vs. Swift Justice (Babel, 3-6, 14th)

All-time series tied, 2-2.

Scott's still in second place, but he's trending a little bit in the wrong direction; his only two sub-100 scores have come in the past three weeks. Kyler Murray (@LAR) has been good, not great, since Scott traded for him, and D'Onta Foreman (vs. ATL) has had one great and one horrible week in that span. CeeDee Lamb's (@GB) return from bye and Deebo Samuel's (vs. LAC) from injury will be key to Scott getting back on track.

Meanwhile, Babel's put up his two highest scores of the year in the last two weeks. Dak Prescott's (@GB) return and Dameon Pierce's (@NYG) presence have been important to his relative upswing. If Najee Harris (vs. NO) can return to his 2021 level of play, Babel could be a big spoiler down the stretch.

Pick: Mostly Three Digit FC.

The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 5-4, 5th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 4-5, 10th)

Pulley leads all-time series, 13-7.

Kevin's been hot lately, taking home the top score prize in two of the past three weeks. Cooper Kupp (vs. ARI) has been stellar, as usual, but his two other main contributors - Joe Mixon and Rhamondre Stevenson - are on bye. George Kittle (vs. LAC) and Brandon Aiyuk (vs. LAC) might have to have a big week for Kev to break his alternating win-loss pattern.

Pulley just acquired two starters, Cordarrelle Patterson (@CAR) and Greg Dulcich (@TEN). The latter might be more important, as Tyler Conklin gave Pulley yet another sub-one-point TE score in week 9. Aaron Rodgers (vs. DAL) and Allen Lazard (vs. DAL) go against Kevin's defense; if the Packers surprise everyone and have a strong offensive week, that might be enough for the Pullman to pull of the upset here.

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

D's Nuts (Derrek, 5-4, 4th) vs. DK Country (Richie, 4-5, 11th)

Derrek leads all-time series, 7-3.

Jonathan Taylor (@LV) hurt? D.J. Moore (vs. ATL) unreliable? Raheem Mostert (vs. CLE) potentially losing carries to Jeff Wilson, Jr.? All not a problem for Derrek, as he can roll out Patrick Mahomes II (vs. JAC) and Justin Jefferson (@BUF) every week.

Richie is still in the playoff hunt due to a very favorable schedule; his -45.1% strength of schedule is the second easiest ever faced through nine weeks. This week, he'll hope his good fortune manifests itself as a Dolphins-Browns shootout, as he has Tua Tagovailoa (vs. CLE), Amari Cooper (@MIA), and Mike Gesicki (vs. CLE) going in that game.

Pick: D's Nuts.

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 5-4, 6th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 3-6, 13th)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 8-3.

Rabbit's team has been living on the extremes. Only once - when he scored 88.83 in week 5 - has he put up a score that wasn't in the top or bottom 20th percentile. Tyreek Hill (vs. CLE) is usually whom you'd point to when you talk about boom-or-bust scoring, but he's been consistently great. Instead, it's Amon-Ra St. Brown (@CHI) and Gabriel Davis (vs. MIN) who have been mixing 30-point games with sub-5 ones.

Schertz is 3-6 and in 13th place, but third in points. The latter is propped up a bit by his near-record week 2, and he's come by his recent struggles honestly. While two losses on his five-game skid came despite scoring 110 or more, two others fell below 85. In order to right the ship, well, there are worse things than having to play Justin Fields (vs. DET) to fill in for Lamar Jackson's bye, and Jamaal Williams (@CHI) against a Bears defense that is barely trying any more. Of course, this analysis assumes anyone has any agency to beat Rabbit's wild team.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 5-4, 7th) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat, 4-5, 12th)

Mike R. leads all-time series, 11-5.

Mike is one spot outside the playoffs and is over .500. That's good. Darren Waller (vs. IND) is his TE. That's bad. Derrick Henry (vs. DEN) and Dalvin Cook (@BUF) are his RBs. That's good. Rondale Moore (@LAR) is his top WR. That's bad. I'm going to go now.

Pat is playing for next year, but Chris Olave (@PIT) is at least earning him a win or two now. Josh Jacobs (vs. IND) has really fallen off his early pace, though.

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

Closing Thoughts

This year, with only one team better than 5-4, is certainly different from last year. At this point in 2021, we had seven teams that were 6-3 or better... and also five who were 2-7 or worse.