Week 1 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Rob for Today (Rob) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R.)

Rob leads all-time series, 10-7.

The chances that this game matches Blingabowl XV in either drama or complexity is extremely low, but it does have a good chance of living up to its Game of the Blingaweek hype.

Much like Mike and Rob, Justin Herbert (vs. MIA) and Trevor Lawrence (@IND) will face off in a playoff rematch - and should more or less balance each other out. Beyond that, Mike has the edge at RB, where Derrick Henry (@NO) is a higher caliber than J.K. Dobbins (vs. HOU), while Rob should take the flex matchup (Jaylen Waddle (@LAC) and Calvin Ridley (@IND) over Brian Robinson (vs. ARI) and Samaje Perine (vs. LV)).

So I'll make this pick based on TE (Mike's Evan Engram (@IND) vs. Rob's Cole Kmet (vs. GB)).

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

Other Blingamatches

Double Digits (Dave) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek)

Derrek leads all-time series, 10-6.

The QBs here represent the last four AFC champions, with Joe Burrow (@CLE) going for Dave and Patrick Mahomes II (vs. DET) for Derrek. Based on both QB quality and opposing defense, that looks to favor Derrek. Where can Dave make up that gap?

WR is a good start, where A.J. Brown (@NE) and Michael Pittman, Jr. (vs. JAC) are a stronger duo than Marquise Brown (@WAS) and Elijah Moore (vs. CIN). Flex could be a wash, as each team features a veteran RB without much competition (James Conner (@WAS) for Dave, Alexander Mattison (vs. TAM) for Derrek) and a wildcard (Darnell Mooney (vs. GB) for Dave, Deon Jackson (vs. JAC) for Derrek).

Ultimately, I'll make my pick based on TE here, too. And with Travis Kelce's (vs. DET) uncertain status, I'll take Dallas Goedert's (@NE) side.

Pick: D's Nuts.

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 13-4.

Keepers Christian McCaffrey (@PIT), Tony Pollard (@NYG), Ja'Marr Chase (@CLE), and Chris Olave (vs. TEN) headline here (the former two for Rabs, the latter two for Pat). Rabs has a small edge there.

But outside of keepers, it looks like Pat pulls even. Lamar Jackson (vs. HOU) is better than Geno Smith (vs. LAR). Davante Adams (@DEN) is better than DK Metcalf (vs. LAR). This one looks like a tossup to me, so I'll go with history.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Live Commish (Ed) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley)

Pulley leads all-time series, 8-7.

Ed will hope for Bijan Robinson (vs. CAR) to immediately live up to his draft billing, while Pulley sends out old reliable Joe Mixon (@CLE). The same dynamic exists at WR, where Ed is starting George Pickens (vs. SF) against Pulley's Mike Evans (@MIN).

Don't expect the outcome here to be decided until Monday night, as each side invested a top-two pick in part of the Bills' passing game. Josh Allen (@NYJ) should be expected to outscore Stefon Diggs (@NYJ) by virtue of his position, so I'll use that to make my pick.

Pick: Live Commish.

schertzopotamus (Schertz) vs. Cöstner's Crew (Scott)

Schertz leads all-time series, 3-2.

"I was at dinner with Schertz Thursday and he opened the app, saw it was empty, and then didn't just set it then. He's an alien." - Rob

Luckily for The Gazette, Schertz has revealed his intentions since that fateful dinner. He'll send three Bears (Justin Fields, D.J. Moore, and Khalil Herbert (all vs. GB)) out this week. His opponent, Scott - a big fan of the German version of Draft Day, apparently - will equal that mark with three Browns (Amari Cooper, Nick Chubb, and David Njoku (all vs. CIN)).

Moving on, Schertz also has Saquon Barkley (vs. DAL). Scott doesn't have anyone else quite at that level, so he'll have to hope Drake London (vs. CAR), James Cook (@NYJ), and Rachaad White (@MIN) all put up solid scores.

Pick: schertzopotamus.

Harrison Hammers (Matt) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin)

Kevin leads all-time series, 12-6.

Kevin might not be an extraterrestrial like Schertz, but as of press time, he's the one with no one in his starting lineup. Sure, he's emerged victorious despite empty slots before, but nine of them?!

He'll need all nine vs. Matt, whom Yahoo projects for Team Blangums. Most of that is due to Jalen Hurts (@NE) and Tyreek Hill (@LAC), but Matt's lowest-projected flex player is Brandin Cooks (@NYG). That's pretty good!

More bad news for Kevin is that third overall pick Cooper Kupp (@SEA) might not play. So if Aaron Rodgers (vs. BUF) doesn't return to MVP form right away, this one could be a laugher.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

DK Country (Richie) vs. Keep Calm & Dameon (Babel)

Babel leads all-time series, 7-5.

Richie, change your team name; DK Metcalf has not been on your roster since 2021! Austin Ekeler (vs. MIA) will be on Richie's team for the fourth straight year, however, which is very nice. Garrett Wilson (vs. BUF) could see his numbers explode with a new Hall of Fame QB on the Jets, too.

Despite that, Richie won't have the best player - or even best WR - in this one, as Babel will happily trot out Justin Jefferson (vs. TAM). He's stacking the fourth-year WR with Kirk Cousins (vs. TAM), which is enough for me to make my pick.

Pick: Keep Calm & Dameon.

Closing Thoughts

Remember to pay your league dues (the Yahoo League Dues page should reflect what you owe). I accept Zelle, Paypal, or Venmo, whichever you prefer.

Good luck, everyone!

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