The Sanderson Gazette - 2023-09-20 - Closest Blingaweek Ever

Week 2 more than made up for any drama week 1 lacked, and then some! The average margin in the seven games this week was 7.79, which is the closest average margin of all time by more than three points (click on the "Margin" column to sort). To top it off, six of the seven games were decided on Monday night!

Week 2 Recap

Mike R. def. Richie, 119.18-111.18

Let's start with the one game that was over on Sunday. Brian Robinson, Jr. (28.30) was Mike's top scorer, and Justin Herbert added 23.75. Special teams were hit or miss for our defending champ, as Jake Moody scored 14.00 while the Giants defense stumbled to -3.00.

Richie had a solid all-around week, with Gabriel Davis (18.27) and Deebo Samuel (18.20) clocking in as his high scorers. But Tua Tagovailoa (14.25) and JuJu Smith-Schuster (3.73) were both disappointing on Sunday night, resulting in him once again finishing as the highest-scoring loser of the week.

Rabbit def. Matt, 112.33-110.49

This one was tight right down to the wire of the early Monday night game. Matt clung to a small lead until the Panthers scored a late touchdown, pushing the Saints defense down to 9.00 points... and Rabbit to victory. Geno Smith (25.90) and Christian McCaffrey (20.13) led the way for Rabbit, who also got another great game from the Dallas defense (17.00). Matt saw Jalen Hurts (25.15) and Tyler Lockett (19.87) deliver, but also got duds from Kendrick Bourne (3.87) and Zay Jones (zero).

Babel def. Pulley, 109.86-104.89

The Game of the Blingaweek wasn't truly over until the late Monday night game finished, as Deshaun Watson (10.95) had a chance to win it for Pulley to the bitter end. He fell short, though, wasting great games from Mike Evans (28.80) and Raheem Mostert (24.90).

Babel got 31.20 from Kirk Cousins, 26.80 from Keenan Allen, and 20.00 from Puka Nacua and held on to first place.

Pat def. Derrek, 99.99-88.68

Pat got enough from Chris Olave (11.47) and Hayden Hurst (2.67) on Monday night to hold on to the lead he built on Sunday. Lamar Jackson (25.25) was his overall high scorer, while Patrick Mahomes II (23.75) was D's.

Ed def. Dave, 93.59-85.05

Ed went into Monday night as a relative longshot to make a comeback, but then Michael Thomas (7.33) had a good enough game and George Pickens (22.93) went off. Josh Allen (25.40) and Bijan Robinson (18.80) also performed well for the commish.

On the other side, Dave didn't have anyone score more than 17.10 (Joe Burrow).

Rob def. Scott, 108.08-102.38

Scott wasn't as big a longshot going into Monday night, only needing seventeen points from Nick Chubb (6.40) and David Njoku (4.40). But the former's horrific knee injury was too much to overcome.

Rob saw Tee Higgins (23.87) make up for his zero in week 1 and got big games from CeeDee Lamb (19.07) and Zack Moss (17.33).

Schertz def. Kevin, 94.72-80.58

Saquon Barkley (22.17) and T.J. Hockenson (20.80) were the brightest spots on Schertz's roster as he won his second straight low-scoring matchup. Despite having the overall high scorer in this game (DeVonta Smith, 23.47), Kevin put up a big dud.

Standings

  1. Babel, 2-0, 262.03
  2. Rabbit, 2-0, 233.23
  3. Mike R., 2-0, 223.33
  4. Schertz, 2-0, 170.85
  5. Matt, 1-1, 225.45
  6. Pulley, 1-1, 214.36
  7. Rob, 1-1, 197.84
  8. Dave, 1-1, 168.75
  9. Ed, 1-1, 165.28
  10. Pat, 1-1, 156.17
  11. Richie, 0-2, 210.08
  12. Scott, 0-2, 165.66
  13. Derrek, 0-2, 151.88
  14. Kevin, 0-2, 141.25

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Babel, 872
  2. Rabbit, 820
  3. Matt, 771
  4. Mike R., 741
  5. Pulley, 681
  6. Richie, 641
  7. Rob, 540
  8. Scott, 335
  9. Schertz, 327
  10. Dave, 304
  11. Pat, 301
  12. Ed, 293
  13. Derrek, 221
  14. Kevin, 156

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Mike R. scored 119.18 and accomplished something he never did in his 2022 championship season: win Team Blangums.

Slapped Heartbeat

Kevin's 80.58 is just the twelfth time a team has gotten their heartbeat slapped with a score over 80.

Weekly MVP

Brian Robinson, Jr. scored 28.30 for Mike R.

Dud of the Week

There were a handful of defenses that scored negative points, meaning none really stood out. Therefore, this'll go to Zay Jones, who scored zero for Matt.

Start of the Week

Mike R. wisely chose Brian Robinson, Jr. (28.30) over Samaje Perine (3.07) and won by far less than the difference between them.

Misplay of the Week

Matt played Zay Jones (zero) over Marvin Mims, Jr. (22.07), Jaylen Warren (10.80), and Tyjae Spears (5.70) and lost by less than two.

I really thought there'd be a more obvious choice here, given how close so many games were, but no.

Pickup of the Week

Babel grabbed week 1 surprise Puka Nacua and got 20.00 points out of the deal.

Blessed Cahoots

There were eight teams that scored 100+ points this week, and they were crammed into four games. That means that Pat, Schertz, and Ed will share this award for lucking into the right opponents and winning despite not cracking triple digits.

Week 3 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Keep Calm & Dameon (Babel, 2-0, 1st) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 2-0, 3rd)

Mike R. leads all-time series, 11-7.

Our week 1 Blangums winner takes on our week 2 winner in this no-brainer Game of the Blingaweek.

No matter how you measure it, Babel is off to his best start ever. Justin Jefferson (vs. LAC) and Kirk Cousins (vs. LAC) have been stellar so far, and Puka Nacua (@CIN) looks like he could be the pickup of the year. If Kyle Pitts (@DET) can get it together, Babel has a chance to turn in a legendary season.

Mike is giving off strong 2008 Giants vibes - turning into a top team the year after winning a fluky championship. Derrick Henry (@CLE) is being his usual self and Brian Robinson, Jr. (vs. BUF) has been a revelation. Amon-Ra St. Brown's (vs. ATL) health could be huge for him this week.

Pick: Keep Calm & Dameon.

Other Blingamatches

schertzopotamus (Schertz, 2-0, 4th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 1-1, 6th)

Pulley leads all-time series, 9-4.

Pulley hasn't failed to break 100 so far, though he took a tough loss this past week. Mike Evans (vs. PHI) and Raheem Mostert (vs. DEN) have both outperformed their draft slot so far for him. Stefon Diggs (@WAS) had a great week 1, but a mediocre week 2; if he can consistently deliver, Pulley should cruise to a playoff berth.

Schertz is a very fortunate 2-0, as he has the fewest expected wins and points for any 2-0 team ever. Betting big on the Bears has been a bust, but maybe Justin Fields (@KC) and D.J. Moore (@KC) can get in a shootout with the Chiefs? Saquon Barkley (@SF) had a great week 2, but then he got injured; if he can't play, T.J. Hockenson (vs. LAC) will need to shoulder even more of the load for Schertz.

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 1-1, 5th) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat, 1-1, 10th)

Matt leads all-time series, 9-6.

Matt had a good week 2, but fell just short of victory. To rebound, he'll hope that Tyreek Hill (vs. DEN) and Tyler Lockett (vs. CAR) each have one of their boom weeks simultaneously. If that's added to Jalen Hurts (@TAM) and Mark Andrews (vs. IND), things look good for Matt.

Pat has seen some inconsistent performers, too; Davante Adams (vs. PIT), D'Andre Swift (@TAM), and Lamar Jackson (vs. IND) each have one good and one bad week. Ja'Marr Chase (vs. LAR) doesn't even have ten points on the season, yet, though other keeper Chris Olave (@GB) has been solid.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 2-0, 2nd) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 0-2, 14th)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 9-7.

Rabbit's all-play record is an impressive 24-2, as he's finished second overall in points each week so far. The only team to start out better by that metric is his own 2021 team. The Cowboys defense (@ARI) has been his, if not the whole league's, MVP so far - and now they face the awful Cardinals. Throw in Christian McCaffrey (vs. NYG), Tony Pollard (@ARI), and Geno Smith (vs. CAR), and Rabs looks hard to stop.

He looks especially hard to stop given his opponent is Kevin. Kev has a 1-25 all-play record; the only team to start worse was the infamous 2018 Pat squad. DeVonta Smith (@TAM) has been Kevin's best player by far with Cooper Kupp sidelined. Maybe Jerome Ford (vs. TEN) can fully take over for Nick Chubb and propel Kevin to the upset?

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Rob for Today (Rob, 1-1, 7th) vs. Ed Gross (Richie, 0-2, 11th)

All-time series tied, 6-6.

Rob is firmly in the middle class of the Blingaleague so far, ranking 7th by record, points, and expected wins. Jaylen Waddle (vs. DEN) and Cole Kmet (@KC) have been thoroughly average both weeks, while Tee Higgins (vs. LAR) and Calvin Ridley (vs. HOU) have been average in the same way a man with one hand in the freezer and the other in the oven has an average body temperature (credit to either Mike Tanier or Bill Barnwell for that line; RIP in Peace, Football Outsiders).

Richie has been the highest scoring loser in both weeks so far, living up to his name change. Tua Tagovailoa (vs. DEN) had a great week 1, while Deebo Samuel (vs. NYG) and Gabriel Davis (@WAS) each had a great week 2. Ultimately, Austin Ekeler's (@MIN) health could be key for him to finally break into the win column.

Pick: Rob for Today.

Double Digits (Dave, 1-1, 8th) vs. Cöstner's Crew (Scott, 0-2, 12th)

Dave leads all-time series, 4-1.

Dave's not off to a very good start at all, with only 0.61 expected wins. However, that doesn't even crack his five worst starts ever. (Look at that 2018-2020 run, yikes!) Joe Burrow (vs. LAR) and A.J. Brown (@TAM) have been disappointments and Travis Kelce (vs. CHI) has missed a game. If those three return to their old selves, Dave can turn it around.

Scott had one awful week and one tough-luck week, the latter doubly so because of Nick Chubb's injury. James Cook (@WAS) has been legit, at least, but at least one of Breece Hall (vs. NE), Rachaad White (vs. PHI), or Drake London (@DET) will really need to start producing consistently, or Scott's in for another long year.

Pick: Double Digits.

Live Commish (Ed, 1-1, 9th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 0-2, 13th)

Derrek leads all-time series, 10-8.

Perhaps the Ed Gross curse has moved to Richie from, uh, Ed Gross? The commish is in the rare position of having more real wins than expected ones after multiple weeks; the last time that was true was after week 2 of last year, and prior to that it was after week 7, 2019! Bijan Robinson (@DET) has delivered on the hype so far, and Josh Allen (@WAS) and George Pickens (@LV) bounced back big time in week 2. Ed could turn into a contender if Jerry Jeudy (@MIA) and George Kittle (vs. NYG) live up to their draft round.

Meanwhile, Derrek is off to his first 0-2 start since 2014! Patrick Mahomes II (vs. CHI) has not been elite thus far, though he has a great matchup in week 3. And Josh Jacobs (vs. PIT) and Alexander Mattison (vs. LAC) have been aggressively mediocre.

Pick: Live Commish.

Closing Thoughts

In one of the coolest developments ever, Rob is the most recent franchise to crack 20,000 points all-time... by hitting 20,000.00 exactly.

Also, if you haven't sent over your league entry fee yet, please do so soon. Check the Yahoo League Dues page to confirm what you owe.