The Sanderson Gazette - 2023-09-27 - Fun in the Sun

NOTE: A scoring correction made shortly after publication modified Scott's score from 75.32 to 72.32. His game recap and the Slapped Heartbeat award and Closing Thoughts sections have been corrected.

Week 3 Recap

Pat def. Matt, 132.84-125.95

This matchup provided a ton of Monday night drama. First, Jalen Hurts (22.15) and Jake Elliott (12.00) delivered for Matt, putting him in the league. But D'Andre Swift (14.07) also had a strong early game, which meant that Ja'Marr Chase's 18.80 was enough for Pat to emerge victorious.

Matt got 29.57 from Kenneth Walker III and 26.93 from Tyreek Hill in the Dolphins' epic 70-20 win. Pat got 34.93 from Davante Adams and 28.20 from Lamar Jackson.

Babel def. Mike R., 136.37-98.61

Mike's Justin Herbert (32.85) and Babel's Keenan Allen (35.12) had huge games that mostly canceled each other out, which meant this game came down to their Vikings. And that's where Babel had a significant advantage, with Kirk Cousins (27.35) and Justin Jefferson (25.87) outscoring Jordan Addison (6.93) by a healthy margin.

Ed def. Derrek, 102.60-97.50

Like most Ed-Derrek tilts, this one came down to Monday night. But unlike previous iterations, this one involved Ed managing to hold onto a small lead, as Dallas Goedert (5.47) couldn't score enough for D to get a much-needed victory.

Neither side had a real dud despite the relatively low score of this matchup. QB - Patrick Mahomes II (28.40) for Derrek, Josh Allen (23.50) for Ed - and defense - Cleveland (14.00) for Derrek, Kansas City (13.00) for Ed - were strong across the board.

Pulley def. Schertz, 129.29-74.79

This year's rematch of Blingabowl VIII had a very similar outcome to the original. Pulley's Raheem Mostert (40.20) was a huge contributor to the Dolphins' 70-point day. Schertz's high scorer was his kicker, Tyler Bass (16.00). That sums of this game well.

Rob def. Richie, 109.45-94.43

Richie had one Dolphin skill player (Tua Tagovailoa, 31.45) in his lineup, while Rob had two (Jaylen Waddle (injured) and De'Von Achane (48.30)) on his bench, but the latter won somewhat comfortably. That was due to a large disparity in defenses: Buffalo scored 34.00 for Rob, while Miami put up 10.00 for Rich.

Dave def. Scott, 120.41-72.32

James Conner (18.20) and A.J. Brown (17.47) were major players for Dave. Scott got 21.47 from Amari Cooper, but the rest of his roster was underwhelming.

Rabbit def. Kevin, 118.43-79.46

Another good week from Rabbit, another dud from Kevin. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Standings

  1. Babel, 3-0, 398.40
  2. Rabbit, 3-0, 351.66
  3. Pulley, 2-1, 343.65
  4. Mike R., 2-1, 321.94
  5. Rob, 2-1, 307.29
  6. Dave, 2-1, 289.16
  7. Pat, 2-1, 289.01
  8. Ed, 2-1, 267.88
  9. Schertz, 2-1, 245.64
  10. Matt, 1-2, 351.40
  11. Richie, 0-3, 304.51
  12. Derrek, 0-3, 249.38
  13. Scott, 0-3, 240.98
  14. Kevin, 0-3, 220.71

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Babel, 861
  2. Rabbit, 783
  3. Matt, 773
  4. Pulley, 721
  5. Mike R., 625
  6. Rob, 554
  7. Richie, 535
  8. Pat, 474
  9. Dave, 448
  10. Ed, 349
  11. Derrek, 272
  12. Scott, 238
  13. Schertz, 231
  14. Kevin, 136

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

A late Puka Nacua (9.60) catch in the second Monday night game pushed Babel (136.37) ahead of Pat (132.84) for this award.

Babel now has two Team Blangums awards in 2023, equaling the number Pat has in franchise history.

Slapped Heartbeat

"I have an easy way to sum up my season and it's only 3 weeks in. 'Wake up Tuesday morning, check I didn't get the lowest score. Celebrate.'" - Scott

Scott said the above prior to a stat correction being applied, when it looked like Schertz's 74.79 was the lowest score of the week.

Post-correction, Scott's 72.32 takes home this award.

Weekly MVP

Raheem Mostert scored 40.20 for Pulley.

Dud of the Week

There were lower scorers, but Derrick Henry needs to score more than 2.00 for Mike R. to be successful.

Start of the Week

Ed and Pat won close games, but neither made a decision that led directly to victory.

Misplay of the Week

Matt played Kendrick Bourne (6.13) and Jaylen Warren (5.97) over Marvin Mims, Jr. (16.03) and lost by less than seven points.

In another game, Derrek played Skyy Moore (5.60) and Elijah Moore (4.43) over D.J. Chark, Jr. (17.47) and lost by less than five points.

They can share this award.

Pickup of the Week

C.J. Stroud (23.40) was a great pickup for Dave.

Pryor Play of the Week

Ja'Marr Chase (18.80) nearly doubled his output from the first two weeks combined for Pat.

Week 4 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 2-1, 3rd) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat, 2-1, 7th)

Pulley leads all-time series, 13-1.

Pulley is off to his best start since 2019 and has five Sanderson Cup winners among his ten most similar teams through three weeks, with 2016 Kevin in the top spot. Pat has won two straight after getting his heartbeat slapped in week 1 and has a few encouraging comps of his own, including Dave's 2021 championship team.

Raheem Mostert (@BUF) has been a big reason for Pulley's success so far; can the Dolphins' top RB keep it up against a solid run defense in Buffalo? Stefon Diggs (vs. MIA) is on the other side there and has proven to be worth his first round draft cost so far. But Mike Evans is now on Live Commish, which means MondoSquad newcomers George Kittle (vs. ARI) and Michael Thomas (vs. TAM) have big shoes to fill.

Pat's season turned around when D'Andre Swift (vs. WAS) started producing, and if Ja'Marr Chase's (@TEN) week 3 is a sign of things to come, we might be looking at a #playoffpat sequel. It helps that Alvin Kamara (vs. TAM) is now back from suspension. That said, I don't think I can pick against the team that's 13-1 in this matchup.

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

Other Blingamatches

Keep Calm & Dameon (Babel, 3-0, 1st) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 1-2, 10th)

Matt leads all-time series, 12-5.

Babel doesn't have as many champs on his similar teams list, but he does have the only three 12-win teams in Blingaleague history present. Meanwhile, Matt is the best below-.500 team through three weeks in league history, but his record means his highest-achieving comparable team is Babel's 2017 runner-up squad.

Babel's been kicking ass all year, which is quite the turnaround. He has 398.40 points right now, but after four weeks last year, he had just 330.44. Kirk Cousins and Justin Jefferson (both @CAR) have been phenomenal, Puka Nacua (@IND) was a great waiver pickup, and Keenan Allen (vs. LV) is coming off a monster game and will no longer compete with Mike Williams for targets.

It is strange that Matt's only won week 1 so far, as that's when Jalen Hurts (vs. WAS), Kenneth Walker III (@NYG), and Mark Andrews (@CLE) all had their worst games of the year. I guess it was Tyreek Hill's (@BUF) best, though. If Matt is close heading into Monday night this week, there's a good chance Walker and Lockett push him ahead. I'll tentatively bet on that.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Rob for Today (Rob, 2-1, 5th) vs. Double Digits (Dave, 2-1, 6th)

All-time series tied, 9-9.

Rob doesn't have any cup winners on his top comps list, but his Blingabowl I loser does appear. Dave is in similar shape, with 2014 Rabbit as the lone team to make the Blingabowl in his cohort.

Rob's put together his quality season despite disappointing starts from Trevor Lawrence and Calvin Ridley (both vs. ATL). That's in part because Zack Moss (vs. LAR) has been quite good filling in for Jonathan Taylor, and in part because CeeDee Lamb (vs. NE) and Tee Higgins (@TEN) have managed to combine for solid WR points, generally.

Dave's gotten to 2-1 in a different way: schedule luck. Joe Burrow (@TEN) has some injury concerns that have held Dave's production in check, but James Conner (@SF) has been a pleasant surprise. Rookies Zay Flowers (@CLE) and Tank Dell (vs. PIT) give him some season-long upside, as well. This one should be tight.

Pick: Rob for Today.

Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 2-1, 4th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 0-3, 12th)

Derrek leads all-time series, 10-8.

Our current cup holder doesn't have any Blingabowl teams in his similar seasons table; he'll have to hope he doesn't go the way of 2016 Ed and miss the playoffs entirely. On the other side in this matchup, Derrek's top comp is an expansion team, 2012 Schertz.

Justin Herbert (vs. LV) has been great for Mike, which has made up for Derrick Henry's (vs. CIN) mediocrity. And after Amon-Ra St. Brown (@GB), Mike has a lot of good-but-not-great options at his flex spots. Currently, it looks like he's rolling with Brian Robinson, Jr. (@PHI) and DeAndre Hopkins (vs. CIN), but someone like Adam Thielen (vs. MIN) could find himself in the mix, too.

Derrek is 0-3 for the first time since 2014 (when he had two Slapped Heartbeats in the first three weeks). Jonathan Taylor (PUP) and Josh Jacobs's (@LAC) being his first two picks is a big reason for that. Alexander Mattison's (@CAR) struggles haven't helped, either. D will really need Patrick Mahomes II (@NYJ) to play at his peak to become a contender this season.

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 3-0, 2nd) vs. Cöstner's Crew (Scott, 0-3, 13th)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 3-2.

Rabbit has five regular season first place finishers among his top ten most similar teams, including last year's Rob. Scott's rough start is similar to the previous year's Rob squad.

Rabbit's been humming along on the backs of Christian McCaffrey (vs. ARI), Tony Pollard (vs. NE), and DK Metcalf (@NYG). It helps that Sam LaPorta (@GB) has been one of the better TEs this year, despite being a rookie, and that the Dallas defense (vs. NE) had two fantastic weeks to start the year.

Scott's off to a really rough start and just shook up his lineup by dropping Dak Prescott for Brock Purdy (vs. ARI). James Cook (vs. MIA) and Amari Cooper (vs. BAL) have looked good, at least.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Live Commish (Ed, 2-1, 8th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 0-3, 14th)

All-time series tied, 9-9.

Ed: "I... am a bad team with a winning record? This is a new feeling."

Pat: "I stopped feeling guilty about that a long time ago."

Pat: "Didn't happen too often."

Ed's benefitted from some good luck, which means most of his top comps missed the playoffs, with the forgettable 2014 Schertz team being the most similar. Kevin's scored below 80 points twice and had his heartbeat slapped in his other game, so is it really surprising that Dave's 2018 version leads four 13th or 14th place teams at the top of his list?

Bijan Robinson (@JAC) has been legit so far, and Josh Allen (vs. MIA) for Ed, and his pu pu platter of WRs - Christian Kirk (vs. ATL), George Pickens (@HOU), and Jerry Jeudy (@CHI) - is now bolstered by Mike Evans (@NO). He's betting on the Chiefs - Isiah Pacheco and their defense (both @NYJ) - to beat up on an opponent for the second week in a row. Not a bad strategy.

Kevin, meanwhile, is sitting in the cellar. The only player in his current lineup to break double digits each week was Jordan Love (vs. DET), and Kev was tragically playing the previous Packers QB one of those weeks. And Chris Godwin (@NO) and Jahmyr Gibbs (@GB) have yet to hit the ten point mark even once.

Pick: Live Commish.

schertzopotamus (Schertz, 2-1, 9th) vs. Ed Gross (Richie, 0-3, 11th)

Schertz leads all-time series, 7-4.

Schertz is fortunate to be 2-1 and has two 2013 teams, Richie and Pat coming in as his most similar. Richie, who is one of just five 0-3 teams to have an expected winning percentage above .500, has Blingabowl runner-up, 2016 Rabbit, as his most similar team.

Schertz's Bear-heavy lineup has been a disaster; can Justin Fields and D.J. Moore (both vs. DEN) deliver against a team that just gave up ten touchdowns? Our 2019 champ might be 2-1, but when either a TE not named Travis Kelce (T.J. Hockenson, @CAR) or a kicker (Tyler Bass, vs. MIA) is your best player, it's hard to bet on you.

Richie's team isn't super imposing, but it's still better than his record. Tua Tagovailoa (@BUF) is leading the league's best offense, and Deebo Samuel (vs. ARI) has been as good as expected. If Darren Waller (vs. SEA) and Garrett Wilson (vs. KC) can pull it together, Richie's season could turn around. If not, 0-3 is going to be too big a hole to climb out of.

Pick: Ed Gross.

Closing Thoughts

Week 3's 106.60 average score is the highest since week 8 of last year.