The Sanderson Gazette - 2023-10-04 - Defensive

Week 4 Recap

Pulley def. Pat, 103.39-93.83

"Damn, I am just seeing what happened."

"Poor Pat."

"Got fully Pulley'd."

"Why would Pulley do this to him?"

  • - Mike R.

It looked like Stefon Diggs's 34.00 was going to go to waste for Pulley. He trailed Pat by more than 22 points heading into Monday night, with just his defense left to play. But the Seahawks scored 32.00 points, and Pulley logged a comeback for the ages.

Pat's lead was built on the backs of Lamar Jackson (28.50), D'Andre Swift (14.67), and his own defense, Detroit (12.00).

Babel def. Matt, 126.51-114.19

The above turnaround was especially surprising, because it looked like Matt was the one who could have pulled off a comeback on Monday. But Kenneth Walker III (13.90) and Tyler Lockett (7.20) couldn't do enough to hand Babel his first loss of the year.

Puka Nacua (27.73), Justin Jefferson (23.33), Brandon Aiyuk (19.73), and the Vikings defense (19.00) led the way for Babel, while Jalen Hurts (25.85), Mark Andrews (22.67), and Jake Elliott (19.80) were Matt's best players.

Schertz def. Richie, 139.82-85.70

Schertz's Bear-heavy roster paid off, as Justin Fields (29.25), D.J. Moore (23.47), and Khalil Herbert (18.83) combined for more than 70 points. Richie looked like he'd be in good shape thanks to a former Bear, David Montgomery, putting up 32.77 on Thursday night, but duds like Deebo Samuel (0.60) and Darren Waller (2.80) did him in.

Rabbit def. Scott, 137.57-66.28

Once again, Christian McCaffrey (44.07) and the Dallas defense (29.00) reached the stratosphere for Rabs. Scott had four players - Amari Cooper (2.13), Dawson Knox (1.60), Younghoe Koo (1.00), and the Pittsburgh defense (-3.00) - score less than three points.

Mike R. def. Derrek, 123.59-82.01

Add the defending champ to the list of teams with a strong defense this week, as Baltimore put up 19.00. Justin Herbert (24.05) and Derrick Henry (23.77) added to the winning end of this blowout.

Derrek saw Josh Jacobs get 22.60 and Brandon McManus score 15.70, but won't win many games when Patrick Mahomes II scores just 14.75.

Rob def. Dave, 109.71-71.98

Cole Kmet (22.43) surprisingly led the way for Rob, who had a balanced effort that included a good defensive performance from the Chargers (16.00). On the other side, A.J. Brown (35.33) had nearly half of Dave's total points. Joe Burrow (4.85) has turned into a real problem for our 2021 champ.

Ed def. Kevin, 97.20-74.26

Ed's fortune continued behind Josh Allen (38.70) and Bijan Robinson (14.77). Kevin's team is now circling the drain despite getting double digits from his defense (Denver, 11.00).

Trades

Trade between Ed and Pulley

Ed received:

  • Mike Evans - from Pulley - keeper cost: 3rd
  • Greg Joseph - from Pulley - keeper cost: 9th
  • Zach Ertz - from Pulley - keeper cost: 9th

Pulley received:

  • George Kittle - from Ed - keeper cost: 4th
  • Michael Thomas - from Ed - keeper cost: 7th
  • Cameron Dicker - from Ed - keeper cost: 9th

Our two most prolific trade partners were at it again. Pulley wanted to upgrade at tight end, Ed wanted to upgrade at WR, so voila - a trade was born!

Neither side really benefitted from the trade this week; Kittle, Thomas, and Dicker scored 14.57 total, while Evans, Ertz, and Joseph scored 15.40.

Standings

  1. Babel, 4-0, 524.91
  2. Rabbit, 4-0, 489.23
  3. Pulley, 3-1, 447.04
  4. Mike R., 3-1, 445.53
  5. Rob, 3-1, 417.00
  6. Schertz, 3-1, 385.46
  7. Ed, 3-1, 365.08
  8. Pat, 2-2, 382.84
  9. Dave, 2-2, 361.14
  10. Matt, 1-3, 465.59
  11. Richie, 0-4, 390.21
  12. Derrek, 0-4, 331.39
  13. Scott, 0-4, 304.26
  14. Kevin, 0-4, 294.97

This is the first time in history we've had three winless teams after four weeks, let alone four. Related: it's also the first time we've had seven teams above .500 at this point in the season.

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Babel, 860
  2. Rabbit, 817
  3. Matt, 763
  4. Pulley, 679
  5. Mike R., 678
  6. Rob, 582
  7. Richie, 468
  8. Pat, 453
  9. Schertz, 406
  10. Ed, 372
  11. Dave, 357
  12. Derrek, 256
  13. Scott, 180
  14. Kevin, 129

Babel and Rabbit have the two of the three best expected winning percentages through four weeks ever.

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Schertz's 139.82 was good enough to hold onto Rabbit's late charge. The latter finished with 137.57.

Slapped Heartbeat

Scott takes home his second Slapped Heartbeat in a row with a score of 66.28.

Weekly MVP

Christian McCaffrey scored 44.07 for Rabs.

Dud of the Week

The Steelers defense scored -3.00 against a rookie QB for Scott.

Start of the Week / Misplay of the Week

No decisions made a difference in any of the games this week.

Pickup of the Week

Rob added the Chargers defense and got 16.00 points for it.

Blessed Cahoots

Any Monday night comeback due to a thirty-point defensive performance has to get this award. So take it, Pulley.

Pryor Play of the Week

Justin Fields (29.25) more than doubled his previous high for the season for Schertz.

Week 5 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Ed Gross (Richie, 0-4, 11th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 0-4, 12th)

Derrek leads all-time series, 8-3.

Let's have a little fun this week and feature a matchup that's guaranteed to get one of our 0-4 teams their first win!

Richie has clearly been the best winless team to date. He has more points (390.21) than four teams ahead of him in the standings (Schertz, Ed, Pat, and Dave), and his expected wins and all-play record suggest 2-2 would be a fairer record for him. Tua Tagovailoa (vs. NYG) has been up and down - and has a juicy matchup this week. The same is true of Deebo Samuel (vs. DAL), except for the matchup part. David Montgomery's (vs. CAR) big week four is promising; if he's going to dominate the backfield of a good team like he did last week, Richie has a chance to turn his season around.

Derrek, on the other hand, appears to already be looking towards 2024. He just traded for Isiah Pacheco (@MIN), who has pretty good keeper potential. Patrick Mahomes II (@MIN) has, surprisingly, been D's biggest problem; the league's top QB has fallen short of expectations in three of four weeks so far. Jonathan Taylor (vs. TEN) should be back in week five, and he does give Derrek a glimmer of hope for this year.

Yahoo projects a difference of 0.01 points in this game as of writing time.

Pick: D's Nuts.

Other Blingamatches

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 4-0, 2nd) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 3-1, 4th)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 9-7.

This is the first time Rabbit has been 4-0 since the 2012 expansion season. Becoming just the seventh 5-0 team ever will be his biggest challenge yet. He's without his normal QB, Geno Smith (bye), so he's picked up Joshua Dobbs (vs. CIN). And it will be difficult for his two best players - Christian McCaffrey (vs. DAL) and the Dallas defense (@SF) - to both blow up again, as they play against each other.

Mike is off to a much better start than his Cup-winning squad was last year. Brian Robinson, Jr. (vs. CHI) has been a pleasant surprise, Evan Engram (@BUF) has been a valuable keeper, and Derrick Henry (@IND) might just be rounding into form. Throw in Amon-Ra St. Brown (vs. CAR), and Mike has a decent shot at taking down one of our juggernauts.

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

Rob for Today (Rob, 3-1, 5th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 3-1, 6th)

Schertz leads all-time series, 9-4.

Rob has quietly fielded a solid, if not spectacular, team, scoring between 108 and 110 each of the past three weeks. CeeDee Lamb (@SF) and Jaylen Waddle (vs. NYG) have been good. De'Vone Achane (vs. NYG) has had two consecutive great games. And even Cole Kmet (@WAS) has joined in on the fun! If Calvin Ridley (@BUF) can deliver more consistently, Rob could contend for a bye.

Despite Schertz's huge week 4, he's lucky to be 3-1. Kyren Williams (vs. PHI) has been an excellent waiver find and T.J. Hockenson (vs. KC) is one of a handful of tight ends that can actually be relied on. But the bottom line is that Schertz will go as the Bears do; the Justin Fields + D.J. Moore + Khalil Herbert (all @WAS) stack will probably lead to at least one more Team Blangums award moving forward, but how many times will it sink Schertz's ship?

Pick: Rob for Today.

Keep Calm & Dameon (Babel, 4-0, 1st) vs. Double Digits (Dave, 2-2, 9th)

Babel leads all-time series, 12-5.

Babel is a very deserving 4-0. He's just the third team to average 130 or more points through the first four weeks. Justin Jefferson (vs. KC) has lived up to expectations as the first overall pick. Puka Nacua (vs. PHI) has sustained his week one breakout production. Brandon Aiyuk (vs. DAL) has been the top WR for the 49ers. And keepers Nico Collins and team namesake Daemon Pierce (both @ATL) are part of a surprisingly potent Texans offense. What's not to like here?

Dave's coming off a brutal week and finds himself down in 9th place, but he's had the same 2-2 record each of the past two seasons, and those turned out fine for him. He also has two Texans - C.J. Stroud and Tank Dell (both @ATL) - as well as future Hall of Famers Travis Kelce (@MIN) and Justin Tucker (@PIT). A loss here doesn't totally crush his chances, but it would certainly put a big dent in them.

Pick: Keep Calm & Dameon.

Live Commish (Ed, 3-1, 7th) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 1-3, 10th)

All-time series tied, 9-9.

Ed's been living a charmed life, clocking in as the lowest-scoring winner in each of the past three weeks. There's reason to believe he can start winning more deservedly, though. Josh Allen (vs. JAC), outside of a big week 1 dud, has been one of the top QBs. Bijan Robinson (vs. HOU) passes the eye test and has been producing good games without scoring touchdowns. And new acquisition Josh Jacobs (vs. GB) is coming off a big week.

Matt, on the other hand, is one of the most unlucky teams we've ever seen. He's the first team ever to have more than three expected wins, but just one real one. And it doesn't help that he'll be without Seahawks Kenneth Walker III and Tyler Lockett (both on bye) this week. Tyreek Hill (vs. NYG) might need to have one of his patented 40-point games to break Matt out of his funk.

Pick: Live Commish.

Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 3-1, 3rd) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 0-4, 14th)

Pulley leads all-time series, 14-7.

After two years in the wilderness, Pulley's a very legitimate 3-1. Stefon Diggs (vs. JAC) has been a huge part of that, though the rest of his roster has some question marks. Raheem Mostert (vs. NYG) was awesome for three weeks, but saw De'Von Achane get more usage last game. George Kittle (vs. DAL) has been a shell of his former self. And Joe Mixon (@ARI) is on an offense that is really struggling. I wouldn't bet against Pulley, but he can't keep having huge defense-driven comebacks all year, right?

Kevin has finished in last place two times, but he hasn't been below .500 at the four-week mark since before then. This year is by far his worst start of all time, and he while Cooper Kupp (IR) will be back eventually, it doesn't look like it's happening this week. And with Jerome Ford and Chris Godwin on bye, Kevin will have to hope DeVonta Smith (@LAR) and Rhamondre Stevenson (vs. NO) perform at their peaks to have a chance at the upset.

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

The Vistas are Back (Pat, 2-2, 8th) vs. Slap it Again! (Scott, 0-4, 13th)

Scott leads all-time series, 3-2.

While three of the four Slapped Heartbeats so far belong to these two, they look to be moving in opposite directions. Pat's team is a brutal Monday away from 3-1, and has what's probably the league's top WR corps in Davante Adams (vs. GB), Ja'Marr Chase (@ARI), and Chris Olave (@NE). Alvin Kamara (@NE) didn't crack double digits in his week 4 return, but he did get tons of touches. And Lamar Jackson (@PIT) looks every bit the QB Pat expected when he took him in the third.

Scott's new team name is both amusing and accurate... and is infringing on Pat's historic territory. James Cook (vs. JAC) has been very good for Scott, and Romeo Doubs (@LV) has been better than expected, but that's about it, here.

Pick: The Vistas are Back.

Closing Thoughts

Happy birthday, Scott!