Quarterfinals Recap

Rob def. Pulley, 92.74-89.70

Call this redemption for Rob. He took second crack at eliminating Pulley and succeeded, but only after the Ravens decided to go for it to end their game instead of letting Justin Tucker (12.30) possibly score more points for the Pullman. Rob was led by Jaylen Waddle's 24.93 and the Colts defense's 16.00. Pulley got 16.33 from Raheem Mostert and 15.00 from the Browns defense. Neither side got very good quarterbacking; Desmond Ridder scored 9.40 for Pulley and Dak Prescott had only 5.90 for Rob.

Rabbit def. Babel, 158.37-75.26

Our other quarterfinal was a laugher, with Rabbit putting up his highest score of the season and Babel his lowest. Christian McCaffrey (39.10), Sam LaPorta (25.47), and Terry McLaurin (24.80) were the three highest scoring players in this one, all on Rabbit's side. Babel did get 23.00 from the Dolphins defense, but A.J. Brown (7.47), Brandon Aiyuk (4.93), and Travis Kelce (3.73) all fell flat.

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Rabbit's 158.37 isn't just the highest score this week; it's also the second highest score for the season and the fifth highest score ever in the playoffs.

Slapped Heartbeat

Babel scored just 75.26.

Weekly MVP

Christian McCaffrey is like a cheat code. He scored 39.10 this week for Rabbit.

Dud of the Week

Derrick Henry had what is probably the worst game of his career and scored just 1.03 for Pulley.

Start of the Week

Rob played the Colts defense (16.00) over the Bills defense (11.00) and won by just over three points. (Let's just ignore that he made the wrong decision in a few other positions, though.)

Misplay of the Week

It feels weird to type this in 2023, but Pulley should have played Mitch Trubisky (13.05) over Desmond Ridder (9.40) in his 3.04-point loss.

Pickup of the Week

Surprisingly, no one really stands out here.

Blessed Cahoots

Rob was fortunate the Ravens didn't want to run up the score with a late Justin Tucker field goal. (Let's just ignore that the Chiefs made the same choice with Rob's kicker, too, though.)

D'Ernest D'oh

D'Onta Foreman was added to Babel's roster and gave him -0.60 points. It's fitting that his name fits the award quite well.

Season Postmortems

Pulley, 8-6 (0.571), 1,622.22 points, 4th place, 9.56 expected wins

Pulley had a similar season to his 2020. In both years, he spent multiple weeks in first place, then went on a four-plus game losing streak, and finally righted the ship in rivalry week to hang onto a playoff spot. While I can't imagine he would have preferred to miss the playoffs, you have to wonder how he feels about winning the Clash of Hatred just to lose a higher-stakes version of it a week later.

Looking forward, Deshaun Watson and Travis Etienne, Jr. are both gone (and would be ineligible to be kept), so it seems likely Pulley will turn towards Raheem Mostert (keeper cost: 7th) and Courtland Sutton (6th) for 2024.

Babel, 9-5 (0.643), 1,529.84 points, 3rd place, 8.40 expected wins

"RIP in peace, KCAD. All the potential in the world on paper. Football isn't played on paper. It is played on computer and mobile phone screens." - Babel

Babel's season was a little like Pulley's, except his first place run and swoon came a bit earlier. He started 5-0 before losing three straight, and would have gotten a bye had he dispatched of Ed in rivalry week. Instead, he wound up having a quarterfinals dud like he has several times before.

This year's keeper Nico Collins (keeper cost: 9th) looks good to go for another year. After that, Babel might have a tough decision between A.J. Brown (1st), Brandon Aiyuk (4th), and maybe even Ezekiel Elliott (9th).

Semifinals Preview

Two of our semifinalists (Matt and Rabbit) have five championships and eight Blingabowl appearances between them. The other two (Ed and Rob) don't appear on the Sanderson Cup at all, failing to win any of the four Blingabowls they've appeared in.

In short, we could have a matchup of haves or have-nots next week... or some combination thereof.

#1 Live Commish (Ed, 11-3) vs. #6 Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 9-6)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 12-7.

Ed's led a bit of a charmed season; while he emerged as a top-six team by the end of the year, his point totals and other peripherals don't suggest he's worthy of his first place finish. To keep the luck going, he'll look for Josh Allen (@LAC) and Austin Ekeler (vs. BUF) to have a high-scoring primetime showdown. It will also help if Jonathan Taylor (@ATL) is back and if Breece Hall (vs. WAS) can capitalize on his excellent matchup.

Meanwhile, Rabbit has Christian McCaffrey (vs. BAL), albeit against a tough defense. Sam LaPorta (@MIN) probably won't have quite as good a week as he did in the quarterfinals, but will he need to? DK Metcalf (@TEN) has a juicy matchup and Rashee Rice (vs. LV) has really come on lately. If Jordan Love (@CAR) can put up twenty or more, Rabbit probably wins.

Pick: There are few rules when it comes to making these picks, but going against Pralines & Dick is one of them.

#2 Harrison Hammers (Matt, 9-5) vs. #5 Rob for Today (Rob, 9-6)

Matt leads all-time series, 14-6.

Matt's season could come down to the health of Tyreek Hill (vs. DAL). He missed last week, and if that happens again, it could be tough to overcome. Deebo Samuel (vs. BAL) has been excellent lately, though, so there's still hope. And Jalen Hurts (vs. NYG) will look to end the Eagles' woes vs. the poor Giants. Will Matt's choice among the Thursday night defenses - the Rams (vs. NO) and Saints (@LAR) - wind up mattering?

Hill's status impacts Rob, too; Jaylen Waddle (vs. DAL) went off last week, but will that change if Hill's healthy? CeeDee Lamb (@MIA) and Dak Prescott (@MIA) should do better this week than last (it'll be hard not to), but will that be enough? Will Rob wind up hoping for another Christmas miracle in the form of Saquon Barkley (@PHI) blowing up?

Pick: We're looking at a rematch of Blingabowls II and IV, I fear - Harrison Hammers.

Closing Thoughts

Good luck to everyone this week!

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