The Sanderson Gazette - 2024-10-16 - Pat's Trick

Week 6 Recap

Pat def. Babel, 145.60-81.08

The Game of the Blingaweek produced one great performance, at least. Pat got 29.40 from Caleb Williams, 25.20 from Derrick Henry, 21.33 from Cole Kmet, and 21.20 from Allen Lazard to put up his highest score in fifteen years! Meanwhile, Babel watched Brandon Aiyuk (4.93), James Conner (3.33), and Javonte Williams (2.03) put Josh Allen's 25.55 to waste as he fell to 4-2.

Mike R. def. Pulley, 96.94-96.02

The MondoSquad nearly pulled off a major upset, but instead took the closest loss in the history of this matchup. Mike R. was led by Tony Pollard's 14.63, while Pulley was led by Drake Maye's 19.95.

Ed def. Kevin, 92.29-83.91

"Go Ed. Defeating everyone's mortal enemy, Kevin." - Rob, self-classified heel

Kevin looked to be in control of this game for most of the week, but then Ed's Tee Higgins (10.27) outscored Kevin's Ja'Marr Chase (9.60) and Zack Moss (-0.43) combined in the Sunday night game. That meant that Ed needed less than eleven points from Breece Hall (18.77) to claim victory on Monday night.

Scott def. Rabbit, 120.40-106.88

Scott broke 100, and won, for the first time in three weeks thanks to Jordan Love (28.20), A.J. Brown (21.47), Deebo Samuel, Sr. (21.10), and David Montgomery (20.00). Rabbit got big games from his defense (Tampa Bay (17.00)) and Jameson Williams (17.23), but had to settle for a tough loss.

Rob def. Richie, 108.44-99.97

For a few minutes on Monday, it looked like Garrett Wilson (20.27) was going to make this a repeat of the infamous "Bent Over by Beckham" tilt between these two. But Rob held on, with Chris Godwin (28.67) putting up a monster score to offset Dak Prescott's (3.00) horrific showing. Richie can point to Dallas Goedert (an injury-driven zero) and Calvin Ridley (0.90) when assigning blame for his loss.

Dave def. Derrek, 101.54-84.40

For the second straight week, Dave hovered right around 100 points - but this time he got a win out of it. Finally getting big games from Bijan Robinson (22.83) and Mark Andrews (14.80) has to make Dave feel great heading into week seven. Meanwhile, Derrek saw Zay Flowers's 17.80 and Tank Dell's 13.60 go to waste as he fell to 2-4 on the year.

Matt def. Schertz, 131.58-67.51

Matt very nearly won Team Blangums while sitting in last place, and big games from Baker Mayfield (28.53), Jake Bates (20.40), and Najee Harris (18.73) were a big reason why. Meanwhile, Schertz put up his second straight sub-70 total. His lowlights came from Mike Gesicki (zero), Jerome Ford (1.40), and Jaylen Warren (2.17).

Trades

Trade between Rabbit and Rob

Rabbit received:

  • Trey Sermon - from Rob - keeper cost: 9th

Rob received:

  • Geno Smith - from Rabbit - keeper cost: 11th

Rabbit's trade for Jonathan Taylor, who is now injured, led him to making this deal for a fill-in RB. On the other side, Rob was looking to avoid claiming a QB off waivers for Dak Prescott's week seven bye.

We'll have to wait a week to see if Rob won, but it looks like we can say Rabbit lost; Sermon scored just 2.90 points in a game he lost by less than fourteen. He also left Romeo Doubs, who scored 18.53, on his bench.

Fun fact: entering this year, Rabbit had made fewer trades on a per-season basis than anyone in the league. This year, he has made more trades than anyone else.

Standings

  1. Rob, 5-1, 653.94
  2. Rabbit, 4-2, 686.01
  3. Mike R., 4-2, 676.51
  4. Pat, 4-2, 636.75
  5. Ed, 4-2, 614.21
  6. Babel, 4-2, 609.10
  7. Richie, 3-3, 614.58
  8. Scott, 3-3, 610.16
  9. Dave, 3-3, 563.07
  10. Matt, 2-4, 546.81
  11. Derrek, 2-4, 530.94
  12. Schertz, 2-4, 529.66
  13. Kevin, 1-5, 589.88
  14. Pulley, 1-5, 518.96

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Rabbit, 697
  2. Rob, 669
  3. Mike R., 655
  4. Scott, 579
  5. Pat, 555
  6. Ed, 532
  7. Babel, 508
  8. Richie, 486
  9. Kevin, 469
  10. Dave, 413
  11. Matt, 387
  12. Schertz, 378
  13. Derrek, 371
  14. Pulley, 301

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Pat's 145.60 earned him his first Team Blangums in five years (also over Babel) and just his third ever.

Slapped Heartbeat

Schertz's 67.51 got him this award for the second straight week - his first back-to-back Slapped Heartbeats since his expansion season.

Weekly MVP

Caleb Williams, quarterback, Sourthern Calif-, er, Pat. The rookie QB scored 29.40 and powered the Vistas to Team Blangums.

Dud of the Week

Kevin got -0.43 from Zack Moss in a very winnable game.

Start of the Week

Ed rode the hot hand of Tyrone Tracy, Jr. (18.60) over Amari Cooper (5.60) and stole a win because of it.

Misplay of the Week

Pulley could have played Evan Engram (11.60) over Zach Ertz (9.40) or Ray-Ray McCloud (2.30) and won as a result.

Pickup of the Week

Matt will take this award for grabbing Jake Bates and his 20.40 off waivers.

Blessed Cahoots

A loose rule is that any team that wins by less than a point wins this. So take it away, Mike R!

Pryor Play of the Week

Mark Andrews, points by week: 1.87, 6.80, zero, zero, 7.33... 14.80. Dave has to be thrilled he's coming along.

Week 7 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 4-2, 2nd) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat, 4-2, 4th)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 15-4.

Rabbit now leads the league in both points and expected wins; should he be considered the favorite to reclaim the Sanderson Cup after a twelve-year hiatus? He's absolutely a strong contender, that's for sure.

This week, it looks like he'll get Jonathan Taylor (vs. MIA) back, which is great for him. Beyond Taylor, Lamar Jackson (@TAM) looks like he's gunning for back-to-back MVP awards, while Sam LaPorta (@MIN) appears to have broken out of his early-season funk recently. With Chase Brown (@CLE) emerging as potentially the top RB in Cincinnati, Rabbit will be tough to beat all year long.

Surprisingly, Pat is a strong contender, as well. How's he doing it? Let's ask the man himself:

"I asked [my daughter] whether I should play Dalton Kincaid or Kmet and she said Bears so Kmet got the nod." - Pat

It looks like the little Patling has suggested he roll with Justin Herbert (@ARI) while Caleb Williams is on bye. And if she was the one who told Pat to draft Derrick Henry (@TAM) and Kenneth Walker III (@ATL), then consider me thoroughly impressed. Malik Nabers (vs. PHI) also is trending toward returning this week, which is a big boost to a team coming off a Team Blangums award.

Pick: Pat's hot, but there's really only one hard-and-fast rule to the Gazette's predictions - always pick Pralines & Dick.

Other Blingamatches

Rob for Today (Rob, 5-1, 1st) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 4-2, 3rd)

Rob leads all-time series, 11-8.

Rob's back in first place, but nearly his entire bench will be on bye this week. That means no CeeDee Lamb, D'Andre Swift, or Brandon Aubrey. Saquon Barkley (@NYG) and Wan'Dale Robinson (vs. PHI) are playing against each other, so Rob will hope for a shootout there. He'll also be rooting for some Monday night magic from Chris Godwin (vs. BAL) and Quentin Johnston (@ARI). But regardless of how this week turns out, Rob's record and peripherals make him a strong contender to repeat as champion.

Mike is our only team with two Team Blangums awards, which puts him in the strong contender camp, as well. Alvin Kamara (vs. DEN) has been outstanding, while Amon-Ra St. Brown (@MIN) has been steadily good and Mike Evans (vs. BAL) has helped win games on his own (while also falling flat a few times). Mike incorrectly chose Kirk Cousins (vs. SEA) over Jared Goff (@MIN) last week, though it didn't cost him his matchup; will he make the right decision at QB this time around?

Pick: Rob for Today.

Live Commish (Ed, 4-2, 5th) vs. Double Digits (Dave, 3-3, 9th)

Dave leads all-time series, 11-8.

Ed's got a bit of an upheaval among his standard starting WRs this week; the bad news is that Marvin Harrison, Jr. (vs. LAC) suffered a concussion and looks unlikely to play, but the good news is that Amari Cooper (vs. TEN) has gotten a change of scenery (and QB quality) by being traded to Buffalo. Jayden Daniels (vs. CAR) has a great matchup, as will Brian Robinson, Jr. (vs. CAR) if he's healthy enough to play. Breece Hall (@PIT) getting back on track means we can think of Ed as in the mix, but he'll need to see a little more overall consistency to move up from that.

Dave's in the mix, too, but on the other end of that spectrum. Having stars like Justin Jefferson (vs. DET), Bijan Robinson (vs. SEA), and now Nick Chubb (vs. CIN) means he could wind up among the contenders, but his track record so far has been too spotty to have a particularly high outlook.

Pick: Live Commish.

Let him Cook! (Scott, 3-3, 8th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 2-4, 12th)

Schertz leads all-time series, 4-3.

Two weeks ago, Scott was coming off of a 53-point showing; you'd have called him a pretender for sure, but he's done a solid job righting the ship and getting back up in the mix. A.J. Brown's (@NYG) return has been a huge part of that, but the rest of his season may depend on how team namesake James Cook (vs. TEN) recovers from his current injury. Side note: Scott, for some reason, currently has two completely open roster spots.

I can't in good conscience call a team that hasn't broken the 70-point barrier since week four anything but a mere pretender. Sure, Schertz gets Kyren Williams (vs. LV) and De'Von Achane (@IND) back this week, but he'll be choosing among Jerry Jeudy (vs. CIN), Jaylen Warren (vs. NYJ), and Taysom Hill (vs. DEN) for his second flex spot.

Pick: Let him Cook!

Keep Calm & Keon (Babel, 4-2, 6th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 2-4, 11th)

Derrek leads all-time series, 9-8.

Babel's in the mix, but, like Ed, won't be a true contender until he starts consistently scoring triple digits. Josh Allen (vs. TEN) has a new high-priced receiver to throw to, and Kareem Hunt (@SF) looks like an amazing pickup, but the rest of KCAK is not as trustworthy. What happened to Brandon Aiyuk (vs. KC)? Will the Cardinals malaise bring James Conner (vs. LAC) down, too? Can anyone feel comfortable starting a Raider, like Alex Mattison (@LAR)?

Derrek is in his second straight campaign as a mere pretender after a ridiculous six-year run. Investing in the Texans passing game, in the form of C.J. Stroud and Tank Dell (both @GB), has not really paid off. Zay Flowers (@TAM) has been exciting, though, and Ladd McConkey (@ARI) looks like good pick for his cost, especially when you think about keepers down the line.

Pick: Keep Calm & Keon.

Ed Gross (Richie, 3-3, 7th) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 2-4, 10th)

Matt leads all-time series, 7-6.

Richie's got a team that should stay in the mix all season. This week, will he wind up playing two Jets WRs? Davante Adams has joined Garrett Wilson (both @PIT) in New York, but it's not like that offense has been operating smoothly all season. At least he has the Steelers defense... who are vs. NYJ.

Matt looked completely dead just two weeks ago, but he's surged the past two weeks and earned two solid victories. That's enough to put him in the mix, I'd say... but only barely. George Kittle (vs. KC) has been by far the best TE to own this year, and Baker Mayfield (vs. BAL) has been averaging more points per game than all but two QBs.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 1-5, 13th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 1-5, 14th)

Pulley leads all-time series, 15-7.

Kevin has two losses by less than ten points; if he'd have won either, he'd very much be in the mix. As it stands, he's a mere pretender. He can settle for being one of the strongest 1-5 teams ever.

Pulley, meanwhile, is off to his worst start in twelve years. Sorry, old friend: you're a mere pretender this season.

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

Closing Thoughts

We've averaged 101 points or better the past two weeks, which has pulled our seasonal average (99.77) and median (99.63) to juuust below 100. Let's get it above that this week!