The Sanderson Gazette - 2025-09-10 - Planmakers

"Unfortunately I have plans on Sunday at 12pm. It was so rude of the planmakers to do that." - Mike R.

Week 1 Recap

Matt def. Richie, 96.51-93.14

Despite opening the week with 1.07 (A.J. Brown) on Thursday and zero (Xavier Worthy) on Friday, Richie looked like he might steal a week one heading into the Sunday night game. But Lamar Jackson (30.45) had other plans and pushed Matt into the lead.

Richie actually had the highest scoring QB (Fields), RB (Breece Hall, 15.77), TE (Brock Bowers, 13.73), and DEF (Denver, 16.00) in this one. Matt did have the best WR, Davante Adams, but he scored just 6.80 points.

Pat def. Ed, 91.43-86.46

The next closest game also was won on Sunday night, with Derrick Henry (28.63) going off for Pat. This game was close because neither QB - Trevor Lawrence (12.10) for Pat, Dak Prescott (9.70) for Ed - did very well, and Pat's kicker (Cam Little, 16.60) was mostly offset by Ed's defense (Los Angeles Rams, 13.00).

Scott def. Kevin, 118.11-69.66

We almost had the 21st Gumslapper in league history, but Scott just missed Team Blangums (more on that below). The victor was led by Baker Mayfield (23.75), Emeka Egbuka (21.83), Bijan Robinson (21.73), and Garrett Wilson (18.67). Kevin's awful showing was primarily due to keepers Ja'Marr Chase (3.47) and Jahmyr Gibbs (6.03) failing to combine for double digits.

Rob def. Dave, 118.21-85.32

Josh Allen (42.20) picked up where he left off last year, but for Rob this time. His counterpart, Jayden Daniels, had 20.95 for Dave. And after those two, no other player in this matchup hit the twenty point mark, with two second-generation players standing out among the rest: Michael Pittman, Jr. (16.67) for Dave and Marvin Harrison, Jr. (15.47) for Rob.

Rabbit def. Schertz, 102.04-81.95

Jalen Hurts (25.30) pushed Rabs out to a great start and Zay Flowers (25.87) provided a strong finish as he cruised to victory. Schertz got good games from keepers De'Von Achane (14.17) and Kyren Williams (13.00) but early picks Nico Collins (3.33) and Omarion Hampton (6.53) struggled.

Derrek def. Pulley, 103.80-89.67

Derrek, like the Chargers, clearly won on Friday night; Justin Herbert (29.60) and Ladd McConkey (9.87) outproduced Patrick Mahomes II (27.60) and Isiah Pacheco (2.90).

Mike R. def. Babel, 106.31-70.40

"Hubbard the garbage king. Love that guy. The stinkiest of trash TDs." - Mike R.

"The best thing about Blingadraft is getting ideas who to pick for my other drafts after I see what made up names Matt and Rabs pull in the late rounds." - Babel

The two quotes above provide a pretty good summary of how this one went, but for a little more info... James Cook (18.13) and Puka Nacua (17.43) were bright spots for Mike, while Tyreek Hill (5.33) and Bo Nix (8.10) were disappointments for Babel.

Trades

Trade between Ed and Matt

Ed received:

Matt received:

The following summary comes courtesy of Dave.

  • Ed, to Matt: "hey, you want some of my stuff"
  • Matt: "sure"
  • Ed: (pushes some stuff toward matt)
  • Matt: "that stuff'll do, but I won't give you any of my good stuff for it"
  • Ed: "yeah no problem, just gimme some of your stuff"
  • Matt: "okay, will this stuff be okay?" (Gestures toward some stuff he's got, but not the good stuff)
  • Ed: "just the type of stuff I thought you might have available. That'll do."

(This trade was basically a swap of handcuffs (Ed has Kenneth Walker III, Matt has Bucky Irving) with a few players thrown in for balance.)

Standings

  1. Rob, 1-0, 118.21
  2. Scott, 1-0, 118.11
  3. Mike R., 1-0, 106.31
  4. Derrek, 1-0, 103.80
  5. Rabbit, 1-0, 102.04
  6. Matt, 1-0, 96.51
  7. Pat, 1-0, 91.43
  8. Richie, 0-1, 93.14
  9. Pulley, 0-1, 89.67
  10. Ed, 0-1, 86.46
  11. Dave, 0-1, 85.32
  12. Schertz, 0-1, 81.95
  13. Babel, 0-1, 70.40
  14. Kevin, 0-1, 69.66

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Rob, 890
  2. Scott, 885
  3. Mike R., 707
  4. Derrek, 661
  5. Rabbit, 624
  6. Matt, 549
  7. Richie, 500
  8. Pat, 461
  9. Pulley, 412
  10. Ed, 356
  11. Dave, 335
  12. Schertz, 284
  13. Babel, 174
  14. Kevin, 162

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

In the tightest race for Team Blangums in over six years, Rob's 118.21 barely topped Scott's 118.11.

This is the second time that Scott has finished second by exactly 0.10 points and just the ninth time Team Blangums was decided by less than half a point.

Slapped Heartbeat

Kevin's 69.66 just edged out Babel's 70.40 for Slapped Heartbeat.

This is the first time in Blingaleague history that both Team Blangums and Slapped Heartbeat have been decided by less than a point.

Weekly MVP

Josh Allen (42.20) is the easy choice here.

Dud of the Week

Richie lost by less than four points and A.J. Brown - his first round pick - had just 1.07.

Start of the Week

Both Matt and Pat - the two winners of the close games - left points on their bench, so we'll start the season off by leaving this award vacant.

Misplay of the Week

Ed should have played the newly-acquired Zach Charbonnet (10.70) over teammate Kenneth Walker III (2.53); the 8.17-point difference would have turned his loss into a win.

Week 2 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

D's Nuts (Derrek, 1-0, 4th) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 1-0, 6th)

All-time series tied, 11-11.

Let's start the previews section with the only matchup between 1-0 teams.

Both Derrek (Justin Herbert (vs. LV)) and Matt (Lamar Jackson (vs. CLE)) relied on their QBs in week one, and that should probably carry on into week two.

Beyond that, they also both look to play new TEs this week. Derrek picked up Juwan Johnson (vs. SF) after getting a dud from Colston Loveland (@DET), while Matt added Harold Fannin, Jr. (@BAL) after George Kittle was moved to IR.

Christian McCaffrey (@NO) is healthy and coming off a nice week one performance, which is huge for D. If Bucky Irving (@HOU) can improve upon his so-so week one, Matt could keep it close... but I'll go with the team that was more well-rounded in their only game so far.

One thing is for sure, one of these two will start 2-0 for the first time since 2021.

Pick: D's Nuts.

Other Blingamatches

The Vistas are Back (Pat, 1-0, 7th) vs. Harrison's BFF (Richie, 0-1, 8th)

Pat leads all-time series, 9-4.

Pat's close win needed huge games from Derrick Henry (vs. CLE) and Cam Little (@CIN); there's no reason to think they'll fall of that much, so he should be optimistic for a 2-0 start. Trevor Lawrence (@CIN) and Mike Evans (@HOU) can't be much worse than they were in week one, right?

Meanwhile, Richie nearly won, but can't feel that great. He wasted great games from Justin Fields and Breece Hall (both vs. BUF); can they repeat the feat? And Brock Bowers (vs. LAC) is now nursing an injury.

Pick: The Vistas are Back.

Let him Bake! (Scott, 1-0, 2nd) vs. Live Commish (Ed, 0-1, 10th)

Ed leads all-time series, 5-2.

How much is Scott's week one near-Blangums an indicator of team quality? Well, he gave up the first overall pick for Bijan Robinson (@MIN) for a reason, and WRs Drake London (@MIN) and Garrett Wilson (vs. BUF) should be set to dominate targets for their teams. But a Buccaneers dud against the Texans could spell doom; Scott is also relying on team namesake Baker Mayfield, Emeka Egbuka, and Chase McLaughlin (all @HOU).

Ed will hope that the Giants are the cure for whatever came over Dak Prescott and CeeDee Lamb (both vs. NYG) last week. Courtland Sutton (@IND) looked good, though, and Alvin Kamara (vs. SF) is probably going to dominate touches for his bad team.

Pick: Live Commish.

Rob for Today (Rob, 1-0, 1st) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 0-1, 14th)

Rob leads all-time series, 10-9.

Rob is in first place, just like at the end of last season, and should probably be considered the favorite until we have good reason not to. Josh Allen (@NYJ) is amazing, Saquon Barkley (@KC) is an elite RB, and Marvin Harrison, Jr. (vs. CAR) looked like the prospect he was promised to be in week one (finally). Rob's team is not without question marks - how reliable will Tetairoa McMillan (@ARI) and Keon Coleman (@NYJ) be on a weekly basis? - but he's got a strong team, make no mistake.

On the other side, Kevin's been no stranger to the bottom of the standings recently, though week one probably represents the worst-case scenario for his team. Ja'Marr Chase (vs. JAC) and Jahmyr Gibbs (vs. CHI) almost certainly had outlier weeks, and Jared Goff (vs. CHI) and Mark Andrews (vs. CLE) - while not fantasy studs - probably won't be as bad as they were moving forward.

Pick: Rob for Today.

Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 1-0, 3rd) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 0-1, 9th)

Mike R. leads all-time series, 10-8.

Mike cruised to a week one victory despite Joe Burrow and Tee Higgins (vs. JAC) being part of an extremely disappointing Bengals offense. That's because Puka Nacua (@TEN), Trey McBride (vs. CAR), James Cook (@NYJ), and - surprisingly - Travis Etienne, Jr. (@CIN) all looked really good. If the latter quartet keeps that up, Burrow and Higgins should come around and make Mike a strong contender.

Pulley had to be happy with what he saw from Patrick Mahomes II (vs. PHI) in week one, though other parts of his team were not so good. Amon-Ra St. Brown (vs. CHI) and Terry McLaurin (@GB) should easily bounce back and be valuable players, so expect Pulley to get some wins soon, even if it's not as likely this week.

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 1-0, 5th) vs. Keep Calm and Stefon (Babel, 0-1, 13th)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 12-9.

Rabbit, like Mike, cruised to a win despite having a somewhat-disappointing Bengal, Chase Brown (vs. JAC). That's because Jalen Hurts (@KC) is still one of the best touchdown scorers in the league and Zay Flowers (vs. CLE) emerged as Lamar Jackson's top target. If the latter holds, Rabbit's team could be very, very scary; if not, he'll still be quite good.

Babel's creaky old WRs - Tyreek Hill (vs. NE), Stefon Diggs (@MIA), and D.J. Moore (@DET) - all failed to crack double digits last week, which is definitely concerning. Bo Nix and Evan Engram (both @IND) didn't exactly light up the scoreboard, either. This could be a down year for Babel.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Double Digits (Dave, 0-1, 11th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 0-1, 12th)

Schertz leads all-time series, 8-6.

Finally, we come to the lone game between winless teams. Sure, Dave has Justin Jefferson (vs. ATL) and Ashton Jeanty (vs. LAC), but - at the risk of sounding like a broken record - the rest of his flex-eligible players leave a lot to be desired. DeVonta Smith and Tank Bigsby (both @KC, because Bigsby's now an Eagle!) left a lot to be desired, and Michael Pittman, Jr. (vs. DEN) doesn't seem likely to repeat his week one performance that many times, given his history.

Schertz will need Nico Collins (vs. TAM) and Omarion Hampton (@LV) to bounce back from week one duds; he can't rely solely on Kyren Williams (@TEN) and De'Von Achane (vs. NE). Of course, Kyler Murray (vs. CAR) is capable of putting up huge weeks, but it's almost always impossible to see them coming.

Pick: schertzopotamus.

Closing Thoughts

Week one was kind of a dud... let's bounce back for week two!