The Sanderson Gazette - 2025-10-08 - Don't Dowdle, Act Now!

"I'm convinced that, this far along, fantasy football is a MacGuffin for Blingaleague." - Richie

Week 5 Recap

Kevin def. Rabbit, 163.57-126.88

Wow, what a matchup! This one was projected to be very tight by Yahoo until late in the Sunday afternoon games, when Ja'Marr Chase (26.67), Deebo Samuel, Sr. (18.80), and Jahmyr Gibbs (15.80) all scored touchdowns for Kevin. He also got 30.33 from Rico Dowdle (more on him later), 20.00 from the New Orleans defense, and - giving me a reason to use my favorite hashtag - zero from Zach Ertz.

Rabs got another great game from Jonathan Taylor (29.27) and saw Jaylen Waddle (20.67) explode in the Dolphins' first full game without Tyreek Hill, but ended up taking a tough, tough loss - his first of the season!

Pulley def. Matt, 118.77-116.91

Patrick Mahomes II (29.90) put up just enough on Monday night to earn Pulley his second straight win. He was in that position thanks to Jaxon Smith-Njigba (23.60) and Darren Waller (16.40). Matt wasted great games from Jacory Croskey-Merritt (26.30) and Rachaad White (20.10).

Rob def. Ed, 124.90-102.18

Rob's trade with Ed paid off in a big way, as Emeka Egbuka (29.73) and Baker Mayfield (29.95) had huge games. That overcame the 26.03 Ed got from Javonte Williams and pushed the commissioner to 1-4 and last place.

Dave def. Scott, 118.22-102.91

Dave got a solid effort across the board - his lineup had no twenty-point scorers - to take full advantage of Scott's rough bye week. The victor was led by Jayden Daniels's 18.95, while the loser saw Dak Prescott (30.15) break thirty again.

Pat def. Babel, 134.30-67.92

Trevor Lawrence (26.95), Tyquan Thornton (12.00), and Cam Little (9.20) turned a comfortable win for Pat into an outright blowout with their Monday night performances. Pat also got 21.20 from injury fill-in Rashid Shaheed. Meanwhile, Babel took a big zero from Malik Washington and 0.70 from Chris Rodriguez, Jr. as his team fell to a new seasonal low.

Schertz def. Derrek, 83.03-73.23

These two started off gangbusters on Thursday night, with Kyren Williams putting up 25.30 for Schertz and Christian McCaffrey scoring 22.63 for Derrek. But then, Sunday was rough. QBs Kyler Murray (16.00) for Schertz and Justin Herbert (14.30) for D both had poor showings, and they were each side's best Sunday players.

Richie def. Mike R., 82.78-66.03

Justin Fields (26.25) and Breece Hall (14.90) led Richie to an easy victory, though that was more because Mike's team was horrible. Only Puka Nacua (17.33) bothered to show up; even James Cook had a 4.90-point dud.

Standings

  1. Rabbit, 4-1, 582.67
  2. Scott, 3-2, 596.63
  3. Kevin, 3-2, 555.85
  4. Pat, 3-2, 524.80
  5. Rob, 3-2, 510.29
  6. Schertz, 3-2, 492.73
  7. Richie, 3-2, 412.34
  8. Pulley, 2-3, 553.57
  9. Mike R., 2-3, 507.50
  10. Matt, 2-3, 488.02
  11. Dave, 2-3, 485.07
  12. Babel, 2-3, 466.84
  13. Derrek, 2-3, 455.82
  14. Ed, 1-4, 492.75

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Rabbit, 707
  2. Scott, 700
  3. Pulley, 655
  4. Pat, 536
  5. Kevin, 533
  6. Mike R., 522
  7. Rob, 518
  8. Schertz, 457
  9. Matt, 455
  10. Ed, 455
  11. Dave, 435
  12. Derrek, 360
  13. Babel, 356
  14. Richie, 312

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Kevin's 163.57 was not only the highest score this week, it's the highest so far this year.

Slapped Heartbeat

Mike's 66.03 was his first sub-70 performance since week 11, 2021. That just edged out Babel for this award, and his sub-70 was his first since week 7, 2022.

Weekly MVP

With Chuba Hubbard out, Rico Dowdle got a chance to shine... and boy, did he! He put up 30.33 for Kevin.

Dud of the Week

The Seahawks defense had been very good so far, but this week they scored -5.00 for Mike, causing him to get his heartbeat slapped.

Start of the Week

Pulley won the only close game of the week, and he actually left some higher-scoring options on his bench.

Misplay of the Week

Matt went with Darius Slayton (2.13) instead of Tory Horton (11.20) and it cost him a win.

Pickup of the Week

Richie chose Cade Otton to fill in for the injured Brock Bowers and got a double digit score (10.80) out of it.

Blessed Cahoots

Both Richie and Schertz won games in which they scored 82.78 and 83.03, respectively; both of those figures have less than 20% win expectancy, which is good enough to take this award.

Pryor Play of the Week

Matt suffered through three single-digit scoring weeks from Jacory Croskey-Merritt, so his 26.30 must have felt especially sweet this week.

Week 6 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 4-1, 1st) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat, 3-2, 4th)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 15-5.

Rabs is in first place for the third week in a row and he's also featured here for the third week in a row. He's ridden Jonathan Taylor (vs. ARI) all year, but also relied on a strong WR corps of Jaylen Waddle (vs. LAC), Brian Thomas, Jr. (vs. SEA), and George Pickens (@CAR)... even if they haven't each performed as expected, exactly. Throw in Jalen Hurts (@NYG), who's been among the top QBs as expected, and Rabbit doesn't really need to act on anything right now. If anything, he should probably just be on the lookout to improve any of his positions at the cost of depth?

Pat is coming off a big win, especially when you look at how depleted his WR corps is. Tyquan Thornton (vs. DET) and Rashid Shaheed (vs. NE) both filled in admirably for Malik Nabers and Mike Evans. But can they consistently do it? Probably not, so it's possible Pat will need to convert a RB (Derrick Henry (vs. LAR), D'Andre Swift (@WAS), David Montgomery (@KC)) into a pass-catcher to round out his roster and return to the postseason.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Other Blingamatches

The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 3-2, 3rd) vs. A...Strange...season (Richie, 3-2, 7th)

All-time series tied, 7-7.

Kevin has shown - twice, now - that his team can hit heights most of us dream about. But he's also hit a low that only a few others have. He's got a deep, if somewhat unpredictable, roster. After Jahmyr Gibbs (@KC), do you trust anyone to score double digits in consecutive weeks? Holding Ja'Marr Chase (@GB), with Joe Flacco now slated to play QB for the Bengals, seems like the move to make. But could he turn some depth into a third strong starter?

Richie has now rebounded from his historically bad performance through two weeks to 3-2 and on the edge of the playoffs. He already made one big splash by nabbing Quentin Johnston (@MIA) and Travis Etienne, Jr. (vs. SEA) in a trade; maybe he should look to turn one of his surprisingly solid Jets players, Justin Fields and Breece Hall (vs. DEN), into two or more starters like he did with A.J. Brown?

Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.

Rob for Today (Rob, 3-2, 5th) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 2-3, 9th)

Rob leads all-time series, 12-8.

Rob has a solid roster top to bottom, with one major exception: tight end. He already invested less than anyone else by waiting to draft one and ending up with Brenton Strange, so now with Strange hurt, he's in need of help. He picked up A.J. Barner (@JAC) and Jake Tonges (@TAM), but they aren't full solutions. So is Rob going to make a splash by trading a rookie like Tetairoa McMillan (vs. DAL) or Cam Skattebo (vs. PHI)? Or a veteran like Alvin Kamara (vs. NE) or - gasp! - Saquon Barkley (@NYG)? He's never been afraid to make bold moves before, after all.

Mike took a swing on A.J. Brown (@NYG) and, oh my, does he regret it. It would help if Trey McBride (@IND) and James Cook (@ATL) returned to form as top players at their positions so that Puka Nacua (@BAL) doesn't have to do it all for the Bullies. Beyond that, Mike has a slew of WRs and a QB, Daniel Jones (vs. ARI), who has been very good but is probably hard to trust. That could be an area he looks to improve.

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

Double Digits (Dave, 2-3, 11th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 2-3, 13th)

Derrek leads all-time series, 11-8.

Dave just made a big move for Josh Jacobs (vs. CIN) and D.J. Moore (@WAS) and now has Jayden Daniels (vs. CHI) back from injury. He probably doesn't need to make any more moves, but this is Dave we're talking about; he probably has three or more trades left in him.

Derrek has scored below 75 points in two straight weeks, which definitely suggests he needs to do something. Christian McCaffrey (@TAM) and, to a lesser extent, DK Metcalf (vs. CLE) have been covering for a disappointing rest of his roster. But would it be too risky to try to spin one of them into help? After all, players like Jakobi Meyers (vs. TEN) and Ladd McConkey (@MIA) have a reasonably good track record in fantasy.

Pick: Double Digits.

Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 2-3, 8th) vs. Live Commish (Ed, 1-4, 14th)

All-time series tied, 9-9.

Despite being below .500, Pulley has a pretty strong roster. He's got two top five WRs in Amon-Ra St. Brown (@KC) and Jaxon Smith-Njigba (@JAC), a top five QB in Patrick Mahomes II (vs. DET), and a solid (if not top five) RB in J.K. Dobbins (@NYJ). Sure, Terry McLaurin (vs. CHI) has been bad or hurt, and Khalil Shakir (@ATL) isn't anything special, but is it worth giving away any of his top players? Probably not.

Ed has already made some trades that netted him Javonte Williams (@CAR), Josh Allen (@ATL), and, uh, Keon Coleman (@ATL). He's 1-4 despite having two WRs outperforming their draft slots in Rome Odunze (@WAS) and Courtland Sutton (@NYJ), because when he makes trades, they cause him to lose. So what he needs to do is stop making trades for the love of all that is good just stop!

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

Let him Lay them Bricks! (Scott, 3-2, 2nd) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 2-3, 10th)

Matt leads all-time series, 4-3.

Scott made a trade for Dak Prescott (@CAR) that has gotten him more than 60 points over the past two weeks and his top RB (Bijan Robinson (vs. BUF)) and WR (Drake London (vs. BUF)) are both past their bye now. Oh, and CeeDee Lamb will probably be back soon. Scott certainly doesn't need to make a big move to stay in the hunt... but he's never shied away from big moves before, so will we see one in the next few weeks?

Matt should get Lamar Jackson (vs. LAR) back this week and has to like Davante Adams's (@BAL) matchup in the same real-life game. Calvin Ridley (@LV) finally showed signs of life last week, and Rachaad White (vs. SF) was great as a replacment for Bucky Irving (vs. SF). Matt is weak at tight end, but also will get George Kittle back at some point, so his best bet might be to just wait things out.

Pick: Let him Lay them Bricks!

schertzopotamus (Schertz, 3-2, 6th) vs. Keep Calm & Stefon (Babel, 2-3, 12th)

Schertz leads all-time series, 8-5.

Schertz's roster took a huge blow with Omarion Hampton moving to IR this week. Kyren Williams (@BAL) and De'Von Achane (vs. LAC) still give him one of the strongest sets of RBs in the league, though it's his WRs (and QB?) that might pose a problem. With Nico Collins on bye, he's got three hit-or-miss WRs slotted to start: Jameson Williams (@KC), Romeo Doubs (vs. CIN), and Kayshon Boutte (@NO).

But he's playing Babel, who's just been destroyed by injuries. On the plus side, Stefon Diggs (@NO) appears to have turned his season around the past two weeks, and newly-acquired Quinshon Judkins (@PIT) looks very legit. Jake Ferguson (@CAR) has been an amazing value at tight end, and Kendre Miller's (vs. NE) usage has been going up week by week. There's promise here, but I'm not sure if there's another move that pushes Babel over the hump just yet.

Pick: Keep Calm & Stefon.

Closing Thoughts

I feel like the league has gotten more competitive as we've gone along, and I figured one way to look at that was to look at how one-sided rivalries have been. (For these purposes, I define "one-sided" as one team beating the other more than 2/3 of the time.)

Prior to Scott joining in 2018, four of the seven rivalries were one-sided: Kevin over Dave, Rabbit over Pat, Babel over Ed, and Matt over Mike R.

Since 2018, just two are: Derrek over Rabbit and Richie over Scott. (Though Matt has beaten Mike R. exactly 2/3 of the time since then, too; the one constant will always be that Matt owns Mike.)