The Sanderson Gazette - 2026-09-30 - Golly

Week 3 Recap

Scott def. Matt, 103.07-102.77

"Usually I'm on the wrong end of close games" - Scott

Scott is right; prior to this year, he had lost all four of his games that were decided by 1.5 or less. But in week three, Garrett Wilson (20.27), James Cook III (19.40), and Juwan Johnson (17.07) did just enough - and DeVonta Smith (8.67) failed to get three more yards for Matt - and Scott slayed his close game demons. That's despite Josh Allen scoring only 16.53.

Matt once again got a good day from the Las Vegas defense (12.00), and Bo Nix added 25.50, but Amon-Ra St. Brown (8.53) had his first disappointing score of the season.

Schertz def. Richie, 75.02-71.91

It was right there for the taking: Richie could have become the first team since 2019 Babel (and second ever) to start 2-1 while averaging less than 80 per game. But Jake Elliott managed just a single point in the Eagles' Monday night disaster, meaning Schertz is the team that sits at 2-1 despite a poor start (a situation he's familiar enough with, himself).

As you would expect, barely any players had notably good scores in this matchup. CeeDee Lamb (16.93) and Trevor Lawrence (21.10) were the only standouts for Schertz, while Brock Bowers (21.47) and Joe Burrow (24.90) qualify for Richie.

Mike R. def. Dave, 134.30-66.60

The Bullies rocketed into first place with a well-rounded effort; every one of Mike's players scored 10 or more, and his high scorer had only 22.30 (Lamar Jackson). Dave's futility continued, as his best player was the Texans defense (13.00).

Kevin def. Derrek, 111.71-103.48

Kevin earned his first win of the season thanks to George Kittle (22.93), Ja'Marr Chase (19.07), Kyren Williams (18.13), and Bayshul Tuten (15.57). Derrek took a disappointing loss after starting out awesome on Thursday night with Bijan Robinson's 33.93.

Pat def. Ed, 112.35-85.76

Pat was passed for first place, but he still made it to 3-0. That's because Jahmyr Gibbs (36.57) is freaking awesome. Ed got 19.40 from Kenneth Walker III and 19.33 from Matthew Golden, but fell to 0-3 thanks to the Packers defense (-4.00) and an injury to De'Von Achane (1.70).

Pulley def. Babel, 125.70-93.67

Jaxon Smith-Njigba's (29.77) MondoSquad has now had the second highest score in all three weeks so far; they are the first team to do that, specifically, and only Pulley's 2014 team had a better all-play record at this point in the season.

Babel put forth a valiant effort, but his injury-and-suspension-ravaged team could only do so much. Brock Purdy (34.25) filled in excellently for the busty Drake Maye (4.25), and Luther Burden III (14.83) finally came through, but the Eagles defense put up a zero, performing no actions that earned positive points.

Rabbit def. Rob, 112.93-84.33

Rabbit gained his first victory of the season behind Drake London's 25.87 and Will Reichard's 17.30. Rob fell to 0-3 despite the Vikings defense (19.00) and Jeremiyah Love (17.53) having great games.

Trades

Trade between Rabbit and Rob

Rabbit received:

  • Saquon Barkley - from Rob - keeper cost: 1st
  • A.J. Barner - from Rob - keeper cost: 12th

Rob received:

  • Jonathon Brooks - from Rabbit - keeper cost: 6th
  • Dalton Kincaid - from Rabbit - keeper cost: 7th

Rob found himself in last place and wanted to jettison Barkley, who was off to a poor start, in exchange for Rabbit's Kincaid, who was off to a red hot start. The other players here are mostly immaterial.

Both Barkley (7.93) and Kincaid (3.07) disappointed in week three, so calling either team a winner would be foolish at this time.

Standings

  1. Mike R., 3-0, 364.12
  2. Pat, 3-0, 346.02
  3. Scott, 3-0, 320.39
  4. Pulley, 2-1, 383.13
  5. Matt, 2-1, 328.30
  6. Schertz, 2-1, 268.59
  7. Derrek, 1-2, 331.74
  8. Rabbit, 1-2, 315.63
  9. Babel, 1-2, 279.56
  10. Dave, 1-2, 271.69
  11. Kevin, 1-2, 263.61
  12. Richie, 1-2, 222.66
  13. Ed, 0-3, 303.47
  14. Rob, 0-3, 245.72

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Pulley, 856 (2-1)
  2. Mike R., 797 (3-0)
  3. Pat, 691 (3-0)
  4. Matt, 634 (2-1)
  5. Derrek, 631 (1-2)
  6. Scott, 595 (3-0)
  7. Rabbit, 573 (1-2)
  8. Ed, 504 (0-3)
  9. Babel, 385 (1-2)
  10. Dave, 334 (1-2)
  11. Schertz, 334 (2-1)
  12. Kevin, 318 (1-2)
  13. Rob, 221 (0-3)
  14. Richie, 128 (1-2)

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Mike R.'s 134.30 moved him into first place and snagged him Team Blangums for week three.

Slapped Heartbeat

Dave found himself with the lowest total for the second straight week; he hadn't had consecutive Slapped Heartbeats since weeks ten and eleven of 2008!

Weekly MVP

Jahmyr Gibbs has easily lived up to the hype of being the first overall selection by Pat, and this week he put up a new personal best of 36.57.

Dud of the Week

Matt lost by 0.30 with Khalil Shakir's 0.80 in his lineup. Ouch.

Start of the Week

Scott won by 0.30 and was bold enough to play TE Juwan Johnson (17.07) in a flex spot.

Misplay of the Week

Matt played the aforementioned Shakir (0.80) over Zay Flowers (13.20), Keenan Allen (14.40), Kalif Raymond (18.00), Rhamondre Stevenson (4.33), and Chris Rodriguez, Jr. (9.70) and lost by 0.30. I can only imagine the horrors facing the interns at Hammers, Inc. as a result of this.

Pickup of the Week

Rabbit picked up the Giants defense and got 10.00 points from them in his win.

Blessed Cahoots

Schertz must have been screaming "Blessed cahoots!" after Jake Elliott scored just 1.00 on Monday night for his opponent, Richie. It's not often you get that kind of luck, especially when you score in the 70's like Schertz did.

Pryor Play of the Week

Harold Fannin, Jr. put up 18.80 for Matt after barely scoring half that in his first two weeks combined.

Honorable mention to Luther Burden III (14.83), who also scored well more than his previous high for Babel.

Week 4 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 3-0, 1st) vs. Let him Cook! (Scott, 3-0, 3rd)

Scott leads all-time series, 7-2.

Mike is in first place after three weeks for the first time since his legendary - and tragic - 2012 season. He also profiles well among first place teams at this point in the season, as he has the most expected wins through three weeks since 2023 Babel. He's in this spot because Christian McCaffrey (vs. DEN), Travis Kelce (@LV), and Chris Olave (vs. ATL) have a low single-game score of 9.47... and that ignores players like Lamar Jackson (vs. TEN), Rashee Rice (@LV), and George Pickens (@HOU), all of whom have arguably been disappointments so far.

On the other side, Scott is one of just four 3-0 teams to sit in third place historically. The good news for his is that two of the previous three earned byes! He's been reliant on Josh Allen (vs. NE) being awesome; when that didn't happen, he needed to hold on desperately to a lead on Monday night (see above). James Cook III (vs. NE) and Garrett Wilson (@CHI) have been what he expected, and Juwan Johnson (vs. ATL) has been a really nice late pick so far.

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

Other Blingamatches

Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 2-1, 4th) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 2-1, 5th)

Matt leads all-time series, 10-9.

Pulley's ridiculously good all-play record was noted earlier in this issue, so it should be no surprise that he's far and away the best fourth place team ever at this point in the season. Jaxon Smith-Njigba (vs. LAC), Derrick Henry (vs. TEN), and Christian Watson (@TAM) are the three biggest reasons why... but will Pulley need more from guys like Malik Nabers (vs. ARI) and Tyler Warren (@WAS) to truly be the Sanderson Cup favorite?

Matt ranks near the top of historical fifth place teams, but the list overall has to at least give him a little bit of pause; only five of the previous eighteen teams in this spot have gone on to make the playoffs! Amon-Ra St. Brown (@CAR) is clearly a very critical player for the Hammers. The Lions WR helped power Matt to his two wins, but his below-average week three contributed to Matt's one loss.

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

The Vistas are Back (Pat, 3-0, 2nd) vs. Rob for Today (Rob, 0-3, 14th)

Rob leads all-time series, 14-3.

"I had a completely brand new thought just now, one that I am pretty confident I have never thought before and possibly no one else has: 'Oh no, I'm playing Pat this week!'" - Rob

Rob's reaction is valid: Pat has a strong roster, which is pretty typical for a second place team through three weeks. Jahmyr Gibbs (@CAR) is basically a cheat code at this point, which has more than made up for uneven results from Tee Higgins (vs. JAC), D'Andre Swift (vs. NYJ), and Stefon Diggs (vs. IND).

On the flip side, Rob is also a pretty typical fourteenth place team. Rob actually has a slew of players who have mostly lived up to - or even exceeded - expectations, such as Parker Washington (@CIN) and Jalen Coker (vs. DET), but overall his team has been a very big disappointment.

Pick: The Vistas are Back.

D's Nuts (Derrek, 1-2, 7th) vs. Keep Calm & Etienne Jr. (Babel, 1-2, 9th)

Babel leads all-time series, 10-9.

By expected wins, Derrek is the second best seventh place team ever through three weeks. He can thank Bijan Robinson (@NO) and Davante Adams (@PHI) for his good peripherals, even though he sits below .500 on the year.

Babel came by his 1-2 record more honestly, winning his only triple-digit game and losing his other two. His team doesn't seem especially bad, so it's surprising that he has the second lowest expected winning percentage among teams ninth in the standings at this point. As for his roster, Brock Purdy (vs. DEN) has been outstanding, and if Puka Nacua (@PHI) comes back healthy this week, he could easily turn Babel's season around.

Pick: Keep Calm & Etienne Jr.

schertzopotamus (Schertz, 2-1, 6th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 1-2, 11th)

Schertz leads all-time series, 9-7.

If you paid attention to the "Blessed Cahoots" award section above, you won't be surprised to learn that Schertz is comfortably the worst sixth place team since the league expanded to fourteen teams. While CeeDee Lamb (@HOU) has delivered, Omarion Hampton (@SEA), TreVeyon Henderson (@BUF), and Cameron Dicker (@SEA) have all fallen flat.

Kevin's week three performance should give him hope, even though he is still among the lowest rated eleventh place teams ever (one of just five with less than 1.00 expected win). Ja'Marr Chase (vs. JAC), Kyren Williams (@PHI), and George Kittle (vs. DEN) have been good, but Jameson Williams (@CAR) has been a huge disappointment.

Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 1-2, 8th) vs. Barftastic (Richie, 1-2, 12th)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 10-5.

Rabbit is a pretty good eighth place team through three weeks, ranking fourth among a group that has a really wide range of expected winning percentages (0.169-0.682). It's a little funny that the week he finally won a game was the same week Jonathan Taylor (@WAS) played poorly, and more generally, to emerge as a true contender he'll need Chase Brown (vs. JAC) and Saquon Barkley (vs. LAR) to score more than ten points more than 1/6 of the time like they have so far.

Richie's 0.128 expected winning percentage is considerably worse than any previous twelfth place team. He's the second team ever to have a win despite having less than 0.4 expected wins through three weeks, following in the footsteps of 2015 Derrek, who was in last place at the time, but somehow finished 7-6. And now Breece Hall (@CHI) and Justin Jefferson (vs. MIA) have joined A.J. Brown on the injury report for Richie, though at least Brock Bowers (vs. KC) is back and as good as ever.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

DAVE (Dave, 1-2, 10th) vs. ED (Ed, 0-3, 13th)

Dave leads all-time series, 13-8.

Dave, despite winning Team Blangums to start the season, is a bad tenth place team. Meanwhile, Ed is among the best thirteenth place teams in history. That's all the preview these two losers get this week.

Pick: Live Commish.

Closing Thoughts

Week one was high scoring, but we've gone down in each of the two subsequent weeks. Hopefully week four will buck that trend - good luck, everyone!