The Sanderson Gazette - 2021-11-03 - A.J. Blangums

"I won the Blingaduel. I always win the Blingaduel. The trick is to go everywhere with candy corn." - Richie

Week 8 Recap

Richie def. Babel, 108.72-108.36

The Game of the Blingaweek delivered! Not only did it produce two of the top three scorers of the week, it cracked the top fifteen closest margins ever.

Babel started off strong, as Matthew Stafford (27.25) and Najee Harris (18.97) put up great scores in the noon window. (The Rams defense (6.00) nearly joined them, but allowed too many garbage time points.) The afternoon games shifting things toward Richie, though, as Chris Godwin (24.67), Austin Ekeler (20.40), and DK Metcalf (17.73) all put up big scores.

The stage was set for a dramatic Monday night finish. All Richie needed was for Harrison Butker (8.00) to not outscore Travis Kelce (1.60) by 6.76 or more to get the win. Kelce's huge dud gave Babel an opportunity, but Butker's final field goal was from less than 40 yards, and we will go another year without an 8-0 team.

Rabbit def. Mike R., 75.70-75.39

This game also, um, delivered? Not only did it produce two of the bottom three scorers of the week, it cracked the top twelve closest margins ever.

Only Darrell Henderson, Jr. (21.40 for Rabs) and Joe Burrow (21.35 for Mike) cracked twenty in this one.

Matt def. Kevin, 104.54-102.26

The closest game ever between these two came down to the wire on Sunday night. Tyler Conklin (7.60) put up a solid game as Kev's tight end of the week, but Dalvin Cook (7.80) scored just enough for Matt to stay ahead. Nick Folk (15.00) had a great game for the victor, while Josh Allen's 31.95 was wasted for the losing side.

Ed def. Schertz, 113.83-104.34

Ed finally played his full stable of A.J.'s and was rewarded with a victory; A.J. Brown and Aaron Jones led the way with 26.67 and 18.70, respectively, and while A.J. Green (6.67) wasn't the optimal play, he still did OK. Tom Brady put up 27.45 for Schertz, but Darrel Williams (13.03) couldn't score enough on Monday night to complete the comeback.

Dave def. Pulley, 104.76-79.06

Michael Carter (26.37) and Joe Mixon (23.03) had great games for Pulley and were the two highest scorers in this matchup, but basically everything else went Dave's way. New additions Cooper Kupp (21.33), Tyreek Hill (18.53), Tyler Bass (10.00), and the Buffalo defense (10.00) led Dave to an easy win.

Derrek def. Scott, 93.68-69.98

This was another game in which the losing side had the two top players: Geno Smith (23.05) and Deebo Samuel (22.80). But by Monday night, Scott was just hoping Darius Slayton could score the six points necessary to avoid getting his heartbeat slapped; the NYG WR put up zero. Derrek got 19.93 from Jonathan Taylor in yet another pretty boring victory.

Rob def. Pat, 97.21-82.78

Jimmy Garoppolo had a huge 30.50 for Rob, who nabbed his second win of the year. Pat got 19.70 from Eli Mitchell.

Trades

Trade between Mike R. and Richie

Mike R. received:

  • Ja'Marr Chase - from Richie - keeper cost: 4th

Richie received:

  • Travis Kelce - from Mike R. - keeper cost: 1st
  • Chris Godwin - from Mike R. - keeper cost: 3rd

Mike kicked off a multi-trade week by scoring one of the best looking keeper options for 2022 in Chase. Richie made sure he got a ton of value in return, though.

For this week, at least, Richie must be glad he made the trade. While Kelce was bad, Godwin was great, and Richie needed every point he could get.

Trade between Dave and Mike R.

Dave received:

  • Tyler Bass - from Mike R. - keeper cost: 11th
  • Buffalo defense - from Mike R. - keeper cost: 13th

Mike R. received:

  • Chase Claypool - from Dave - keeper cost: 7th
  • Daniel Carlson - from Dave - keeper cost: 9th

Mike grabbed another potential keeper and didn't even have to give up a position player.

This trade was also consequential; while Dave won his matchup easily, Mike could have used a few more kicker points to defeat Rabbit.

Trade between Dave and Pat

Dave received:

  • Tyreek Hill - from Pat - keeper cost: 1st
  • Darrell Henderson, Jr. - from Pat - keeper cost: 7th

Pat received:

  • CeeDee Lamb - from Dave - keeper cost: 4th
  • Eli Mitchell - from Dave - keeper cost: 9th

Pat also got on the keeper train with Lamb and Mitchell. Dave got one of the top WRs in the league.

Hill and Henderson did what Dave needed them to do; score a lot of points and fetch another star WR in a trade, respectively. Mitchell already looks like a good acquisition for Pat, too.

Trade between Babel and Scott

Babel received:

  • Nick Chubb - from Scott - keeper cost: 1st
  • Russell Wilson - from Scott - keeper cost: 3rd

Scott received:

  • Deebo Samuel - from Babel - keeper cost: 5th
  • Trey Lance - from Babel - keeper cost: 9th

Scott has nowhere to go but up in 2022, and Samuel will help that cause. Babel received Chubb to stay in the arms race that Richie and Dave started.

Babel is kicking himself after this one, as hanging on to Samuel would have made him the first 8-0 team ever.

Trade between Dave and Rabbit

Dave received:

  • Kyler Murray - from Rabbit - ineligible to be kept
  • Cooper Kupp - from Rabbit - keeper cost: 3rd
  • Brandon Bolden - from Rabbit - keeper cost: 9th

Rabbit received:

  • Calvin Ridley - from Dave - keeper cost: 1st
  • Dak Prescott - from Dave - keeper cost: 3rd
  • Darrell Henderson, Jr. - from Dave - keeper cost: 7th

This one came in just before the Thursday night game. Dave turned Henderson and Ridley into Kupp, and then, for reasons unknown to The Gazette, QBs changed hands as well.

And boy, is there a lot to say about this in the aftermath. Kupp and Henderson both had great weeks. And while Murray disappointed for Dave, Rabbit got even less out of the rest of his side. Prescott was a late scratch on Sunday night, and Ridley has stepped away from the NFL to focus on his mental health. It wasn't an immediate disaster for Rabbit, but he can't be happy about the subsequent events.

Standings

  1. Babel, 7-1, 954.26
  2. Schertz, 6-2, 933.87
  3. Richie, 6-2, 929.16
  4. Dave, 6-2, 853.72
  5. Derrek, 6-2, 849.13
  6. Matt, 6-2, 831.80
  7. Rabbit, 5-3, 902.12
  8. Kevin, 5-3, 883.39
  9. Ed, 3-5, 840.79
  10. Pulley, 2-6, 759.31
  11. Rob, 2-6, 738.11
  12. Mike R., 1-7, 818.21
  13. Pat, 1-7, 760.29
  14. Scott, 0-8, 570.40

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Babel, 711
  2. Richie, 653
  3. Schertz, 649
  4. Kevin, 585
  5. Derrek, 583
  6. Rabbit, 563
  7. Dave, 552
  8. Ed, 548
  9. Mike R., 490
  10. Matt, 447
  11. Pulley, 393
  12. Pat, 393
  13. Rob, 347
  14. Scott, 84

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Ed's 113.83 is the fifth lowest score to ever take home Team Blangums.

Slapped Heartbeat

Scott's 69.98 means he now is tied for the most Slapped Heartbeats ever through eight weeks.

Weekly MVP

There are a ton of very good, but not great candidates this week. Chris Godwin (24.67) made an immediate impact in a very close win for Richie, so he'll take this one by a nose.

Dud of the Week

Kevin took a zero from the Green Bay defense on Thursday night and lost by less than three points.

Start of the Week

Rob played Jimmy Garoppolo (30.50) over Mac Jones (13.40).

Misplay of the Week

If you include trades, this will go to Babel for giving away Deebo Samuel (22.80).

If not, Mike R. played Kenneth Gainwell (2.70) and Javonte Williams (5.23) over Mike Davis (7.33).

Pickup of the Week

If you include trades, this one has to go to Richie for acquiring Godwin.

If not, Matt added the Eagles defense and got 21.00 points.

Blessed Cahoots

Rabbit put up the third lowest score of the week, but still won. His 75.70 would be expected to win just 15.5% of the time (which adjusts to below 10% in this year's scoring environment).

Week 9 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Swift Justice (Babel, 7-1, 1st) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 6-2, 2nd)

Schertz leads all-time series, 6-3..

Despite each taking a loss this last week, Babel and Schertz remained in first and second place, respectively. This is an easy choice for Game of the Blingaweek.

Babel doesn't even get a breather after his tense loss to Richie, and although his undefeated seasons has come to an end, he should still be able to keep calm and carry on towards a bye. Seven of our previous thirteen first place teams at this point in the season earned the right to skip the quarterfinals, and only one (2008 Derrek) missed the postseason entirely. And even though team namesake D'Andre Swift has a bye this week, Mark should be in good shape. Matthew Stafford (vs. TEN) and Najee Harris (vs. CHI) have been very dependable, and Nick Chubb (@CIN) faces a team that just allowed the Jets to put up tons of RB points.

It also helps that Schertz will be without three of his top four players; Derrick Henry is probably out for the rest of the fantasy season, and Tom Brady and Mike Evans have a bye. Mike's lucky Stefon Diggs (@JAC) has a great matchup, or else he'd probably have no chance in this one. Where he should be most concerned, though, is for the rest of the season, particularly without Henry; he's not notably strong (or weak) when compared to historical second place teams, so he probably can't just coast to the playoffs without making up for losing the league's best running back.

Pick: Swift Justice.

Other Blingamatches

Super Bash Bros. (Dave, 6-2, 4th) vs. Live Commish (Ed, 3-5, 9th)

Dave leads all-time series, 9-7..

If it weren't for the matchup of our top two teams, this would be a solid choice for Game of the Blingaweek. It pits the last two Team Blangums winners against each other - something that has only happened ten times before:

Dave's Blangums score - and his week 9 projection - are both quite a bit higher than Ed's. He's just the second fourth place team to have a 6-2 record, though his horrible stretch in weeks 3 and 4 put him in the middle of the pack when it comes to expected wins. It must be encouraging to see Derrek's two recent championship squads on the list of teams in the same position, though.

Ed is in his unfortunate usual position; this is the sixth straight year he's had more expected wins than real wins after week 8. It's no surprise, then, that two of his recent seasons lead all ninth place teams in expected wins. Aaron Jones (@KC) could have another huge week, but will it be enough to pull a huge upset?

Pick: Super Bash Bros.

D's Nuts (Derrek, 6-2, 5th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 5-3, 8th)

Derrek leads all-time series, 10-5..

Derrek joins the 2012 version of himself as the only fifth place teams with 6-2 records. He'll need Patrick Mahomes II (vs. GB) to return to form to climb much higher, though; Jonathan Taylor (vs. NYJ) can't do it all on his own.

Kevin is the first eight place team ever to have a winning record, though he does have fewer expected wins that his own 2009 team (that was 3-5). Getting Davante Adams (@KC) back from the COVID list could be huge, even if Josh Allen (@JAC) might be able to win this one by himself, based on his opponent.

Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 5-3, 7th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 2-6, 10th)

All-time series tied, 7-7..

Like Kevin, Rabbit is the first seventh place team to be above .500 at this point in the year. He's kept afloat while Christian McCaffrey is out, and he should have his new QB, Dak Prescott (vs. DEN), available this week.

Towards the bottom of the standings, we see a different trend that Pulley exemplifies. He is the first 2-6 team to be as high as tenth place since our inaugural season - when there were only twelve teams. Joe Mixon (vs. CLE) and Aaron Rodgers (@KC) have been pretty good for Pulley, and Michael Carter (@IND) looks like he might have some great keeper potential, but otherwise, Pulley's had a forgettable team this year.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

DK Country (Richie, 6-2, 3rd) vs. Rob for Today (Rob, 2-6, 11th)

All-time series tied, 5-5..

Among third place teams, Richie looks pretty normal. He's towards the top, which is good for him, but we've seen stronger profiles in the past. Travis Kelce (vs. GB) can go nowhere but up as a member of DK Country, which is important, given that the team's namesake, DK Metcalf, is on bye along with Chris Godwin.

Rob is like Pulley, as he's our first 2-6 team in eleventh place since we expanded to fourteen teams. Michael Pittman, Jr. (vs. NYJ) has been great since Rob acquired him, and Jarvis Landry (@CIN) is healthy again, but that doesn't change the fact that Rob for Today is playing for tomorrow.

Pick: DK Country.

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 6-2, 6th) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat, 1-7, 13th)

Matt leads all-time series, 8-5..

Matt's an interesting team this year. By record, he's the best sixth place team at the eight week mark that we've ever seen, but by expected wins, he's third worst. He survived week 8 despite down weeks from Dalvin Cook (@BAL) and Mike Williams (@PHI), which bodes well for him hanging onto his playoff spot. Getting Lamar Jackson (vs. MIN) and Mark Andrews (vs. MIN) back will help, too.

The list of thirteenth place teams is surprisingly light on Pat, so him being the first 1-7 team present makes you take notice. He'll hope for a pair of Herberts playing in Pennsylvania - Justin (@PHI) and Khalil (@PIT) - to break his current losing streak.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 1-7, 12th) vs. Can I Play the Spread? (Scott, 0-8, 14th)

Scott leads all-time series, 2-1..

Mike actually isn't the first 1-7 team in twelfth place, but that's only because "twelfth" meant "last" for our first four years. When you instead look at all the teams with one win or fewer, he stands with 2013 Babel as a team that took some brutal losses early in the year.

We covered just how bad Scott's season has gone last week, so I'll only add that he has become just the second 0-8 team ever.

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

Closing Thoughts

It should surprise no one that week 8 had the lowest average margin in Blingaleague history.